Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Monday, June 11, 2007

A Tale of Birthing and Dying

Or dyeing, as the case may be. And such is the case after all.

I have many a tale to tell today. It was an eventful and productive weekend her at Chateau Poops.

Saturday was Bug's seventh birthday. Seven years old--can you even believe it? I can't. Seems like it was just yesterday...

*cue flashback music*

But wait! Before I wax nostalgic about the birthing of the Bug, I am going to start with the craft part of our portion. So that way if you've come here to read about my adventures in spinning and KoolAid dyeing, you can finish up the first part and skip the second if you like. If you've come here wondering about Bug's party and my memories of her entrance onto the planet, you can just scroll down to part the second. And if you are up for a bit of both, you're in for quite a treat.

Part the First: Hey, KoolAid!

I bought a bunch o' roving--a pound to be exact--from Sheep Shed Studios. It was white, or nearly so. I spun it up and got better and better as the bobbins filled. My singles aren't perfect. Very thick and thin in spots, some overspun, some underspun: your basic beginner singles. But I planned to dye and ply these babies! The first picture is two hanks of singles with their packages of KoolAid. They're kind of a greyish-white all spun up.

The first skein went into cherry, and the second into lemonade. It took two packages of lemonade to get even a pale yellow. I would have liked a brighter color, but that's all the lemonade I had, and there you go.

The third skein went into a package of orange while the fourth went into berry blue for a while.

Here they are chillin' in the pot on the stove. I plan to ply these colors together here and there and make them into baby stuff. Partly because the colors are so perfect for babies, and partly because I don't think I'm going to have the yardage to pull of much of anything larger.

See this skein here? The bright saffron yellow one? When I ordered my white roving from SSS, they sent as a freebie a small bag of superwash wool roving as bonus. This was lovely stuff. Easy as pie to spin and has a nice sheen to it, like silk almost. I spun the singles and I have to admit that I'm really happy with how they came out. This is my first attempt at plying, and yes, that skein is damn near perfectly balanced. Though after a bit of a bath I can see that the beginning part of the skein was a bit under plyed, so I'm going to wind it and run it through the wheel a bit just to tighten it up a bit. But I love it. It's bouncy and so very soft. I have almost 50 yards of it, and I'm taking submissions on what it should become. I'm so proud!

As we speak, there' s another pound of roving on it's way, this time in shades of brown. I am definitely encouraged by my progress with this! I'll keep you updated as they turn into actual things.

Speaking of making progress...

My Baby Girl is Seven.

(If you've come for the craft part, it's over. Go then. You've stayed your hour.)

We had a big birthday party for Bug on Saturday. The weather cooperated. Kind of. It was cloudy and overcast but it didn't so much as sprinkle on us, thank Ra for that. However, the day before was sunny and bright. The day after, sunny and bright. Today, sunny and bright. WTF? I got the one cloudy day of the week? Unfair, I tell you! But it could have rained buckets and didn't and I am immensely grateful for that.

Baboo got bug a magician to perform at her party! Yeah, everyone should have a Baboo.

Mr. Phil did a bunch of magic tricks and made us laugh, and all the kids (and some of the grownups) a balloon animal to take home. Guess what I got? A sheep. How'd you guess?

Here's Bug helping out with the amazing rope trick. Mr. Phil makes the whole show about the birthday kid, which is really nice, but he also has other kids from the audience come up and assist too, and they really loved that.

Sister made the Best. Cake. Ever. I don't even know what it was, and I'm not one to pick a favorite when it comes to dessert, but this is hands down the best cake I've ever had. My wedding cake is now in second place. And that was a kickass cake, my friends.

And Sunday, we went to another birthday party. Here's Bobo at that party having a cold drink with her Papa after bouncing and bouncing in the Bouncy Castle they rented. Here's the funny thing: we talked about getting one, but they cost a couple hundred bucks to rent. So we didn't. And Baboo sprung for the magician so we figured that would be good enough. Which it was. But the thing the kids liked the most was the two jumpropes that Bug tied to a shrub at the corner of Tanta's house. There's a hill there, and they use the ropes like climbing tackle (is that the right word?), or to swing from side to side on. They played on those for hours. And they cost all of a buck. Money well spent.

So Bug was born on June 9, 2000. She was due on June 10. A couple of weeks before I was due, the doc did an ultrasound and determined that she was in the neighborhood of 8 pounds, give or take a pound. He was leery of letting me go past my due date for a couple of reasons. First, because I'm a big girl and big girls make big babies. And we don't want to have too big a baby the first time out. He's opposed to Caesareans because as he described it, he doesn't like to sew.

And the second reason for going on or before my date is because of Bike Week. It starts the weekend before Father's Day and ends the following weekend. Our normally placid and tranquil area is overrun by motorcycles. You've heard of Sturgis? Of Daytona Bike Week? Laconia Bike week completes the trifecta. They have races at NHIS, hill climbs at Gunstock ski area, and the rest of the week they park at Weirs Beach and do whatever it is bikers do. It sucks teabags.

Long story short, he said that if labor hasn't started by June 8th, which was a Thursday night, that I should come up to the hospital and he'd induce. Which is what we did.

He prepped me the night before. I got the stuff that softens the cervix (OW!) and my IV (OW! again) and settled down for a sleepless night. Who can sleep in the hospital? Really.

I was up bright and early the next morning, Friday. They hooked up the Pitocin and released the hounds. I sat and rocked and chatted with anyone who would listen while the contractions got stronger. They kept coming in and upping the drip. By noontime I was uncomfortable. By one I was REALLY uncomfortable. I had told the nurse I didn't want an epidural (I was such a dumbass) and she asked if I wanted some Nubain. It's supposed to take the edge off.

I think she shot it into the mattress, 'cause it did nada for the pain. It did make me feel incredibly drunk, and in my drunken stupor I screeched out the four most important words you will need to survive childbirth: I want my epidural.

And I got it. And I promptly fell asleep. Seriously, they had to wake me up to push. I remember saying "Five more minutes" as they were propping me up in the stirrups.

I am a good pusher. I should probably have more because people, I'm good at the pushing. It's like taking a giant, hard crap. Well, having been completely bound up for the previous nine months, this pushing was nothing new to me. I started pushing at quarter to five and she slithered into the world at two minutes to five.

She was 8 pounds on the nose. I remember at one point in the pushing he told me to take a break and that he heart rate was dipping with the pushes, so he was going to get her out quickly with the forceps on the next push. He got the salad tongs out and when her head came out he told me to stop and he slipped the cord off her neck. Larry counted and said it was wrapped around her neck four times. No worries, she's right as the mail.

I had an episiotomy that took 45 minutes to stitch, I swear, but I also swear to you that I never felt a stitch. Not the entire time it healed. I tore a bit with Bobo and had five small stitches, and I felt every single one of them for the entire time I healed.

Dr. T. might not like to sew, but he's good at it.

And now, she's seven. Doesn't seem possible, really.


Blogger Bezzie said...

Aw! Happy Birthday Bug!!!

Your adventures in dyeying look like you're stewing technicolored brains! Love that yellow the best. And I'm not even a yellow person.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Trillian42 said...

Your dyeing work looks great! Right there with you on the lemonade, though. It's just not bright enough.

And a big happy birthday to your beautiful girl. You've got some gorgeous kids, there, woman!

7:54 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

That yellow plied skein is amazing! I want! Gimme! Joking, joking. Well, maybe a little not joking...
Happy birthday little poops!

8:07 PM  

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