Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Everything's Coming Up Hoses

Can you believe I’m down to my second-to-last Blogaversary question? Well, yeah, you probably can believe it, but then you didn’t see the four pages of questions I received, and the mixing bowl full of slips of paper with names on them!

Today’s question is a funny one, and as it is bathroom related I consider myself eminently qualified to answer. Stariel wants to know, “Why is it that the stall doors on bathrooms open in? It makes no sense!”

At first glance, it doesn’t seem it. Anyone that’s tried to maneuver around a stall door knows that a door that opened outward into the greater space of the bathroom as opposed to opening into the tight confined space of the stall itself would be easier to manage. Especially if you are laden down with shopping bags or a kid or something.

But picture this: you’re sitting on—or hovering over—the potty, doing your business. The latch, as often happens in public restrooms is just hanging on, or perhaps the person in the stall next to you slammed her door and jiggled your latch loose. Suddenly someone comes in. She’s in a hurry. Perhaps she’s got a turtlehead pokin’ out and needs to use a toilet right now. And without looking, she grabs your door handle and swings it wide open without even looking.

What can you do? Nothing. You’re trapped, panties down, door out of reach.

With the door opening in, even if you have a faulty latch, you can sometimes brace it shut with an artfully draped purse strap or a large shopping bag. And if push comes to shove, if someone tries to open the door, you can lean forward and hold it shut with your hand while screeching “I’m in here!”

Plus, let’s say you pulled an Elvis and had a cardiac episode while on the crapper. If the door opened out, the EMT’s would have to go under the door to get you out, or have the door removed. If the door opens in, they could kick it in. Of course there’s a chance that the door would fly inwards and hit you in the face, provided you had somehow remained upright on the potty, but if you’ve had a heart attack, a broken nose is really the least of your worries, isn’t it?

Anyway, that’s my take on why bathroom stall doors open in. I’m happy to entertain any other thoughts in that area. It does give one pause, doesn’t it?

One question to go! There will have to be some kind of celebration. I’ll have to think about that.

In the meantime, while I ponder what to do to celebrate my last question, you can ponder my latest creation. He needs a name. Any suggestions?

I should have taken a close-up of his sack. (Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I said that over the years!) I used a looped stitch for the hair and it is just too funny. I mailed him to Dong-a-Long Central (aka PennyKarma’s house) yesterday. Perhaps she can get some good shots of his teabags. If anyone can, it’s PK.

I got the straps on Bobo’s Monica and I’ll tack them in place today if I can get her to hold still for a minute or two. She’s like a bubble on a piss pot.

And I cast on for another bag. It’s in two shades of aqua blue and has a wavy design on it. I’m still not quite done with the maroon one. The bag itself is done, I just need to make the i-cord tie and some more flowers for embellishment. And decide if I’m going to make it a back pack or not. I’m leaning toward yes.

That’s all I’ve been up to.

Not much, really.

5 Comments:

Blogger Bezzie said...

EEEK! It's a snake in the grass!

The handicapped stalls open out though. I think that's for wheelchair accesssibility though.

10:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

EEK! *looks over her shoulder* Too funny! Excellent job there Poops! Will be interesting to see what PK does with it! :)

from ME your SP :)

10:33 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

haha. He looks so "natural" in the grass. Like he was meant to be among the flowers.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

You are officially the first DONGER!

I can't wait to see it.

7:38 PM  
Blogger ZantiMissKnit said...

No more yankee my wankee! The donger need FOOD!

12:37 PM  

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