Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Try to Stay Awake for the Finish

Did you ever start writing a post you just knew was going to be boring? I get that feeling today. I’ll do my best to make a liar of myself, but I can’t promise anything. My mind is feeling less-than-sharp today, and if this gets tedious, I’ll cut it short. I do apologize.

First up is the yarn news. Having completed my penis and mailed it off to Dong Central, I decided to do some charity knitting. I’m working on a sweater with Encore Chunky for the Guideposts Knit for Kids program. It’s school bus yellow with bright pink, blue, and green stripes and flowers on the front. I should get it done, or mostly so today, and if I do I’ll take a pic later.

As I’ve been thinking about getting a charity knitting group together at church, I’ve been looking into different charities out there that accept and/or request handknits. And it occurs to me that I don’t give enough in that area, and it could be why the sales of my handknits have been slow.

I believe in getting back what you put out. If you give out kindness, you will receive it. If you give love, you will get love back. If you donate money or time when you have it, you will always have it there when you need it.

I have never knit anything for charity. It is time I do. Not because I expect good things in return—rather the fact that nothing is happening for me in the sales department is likely a sign that I’ve not done enough in the area of putting my needles to work for good, and not profit. I will remedy that forthwith, even if I never sell another pair of mittens. I’ll just have more to donate, right?

Plus I think I’ll be able to go through my stash and pick some yarn to donate later too. I’ve already culled out some yarn for the group to use, should the group ever materialize.

So far I’ve got information on about 20 or so programs that accept knit and crocheted donations. I’ve printed out the information pages, and I’ll copy the pattern pages, and I’ll put them all in a binder so that each person can knit or crochet what they want. I figure you can work for a particular charity because the cause is dear to you, you can pick an item to knit based on what type of fiber you like to work with, or what size project you like to make.

I still have to get permission from the church to have meetings there, and see if I can put an announcement about it in the bulletin, and then come up with some basic ideas for the first meeting. Boring stuff like when to meet and where and how often, and what kind of overhead or operating costs are we looking at. Maybe some knitters and crocheters will want to teach others how to do it. I don’t know, really.

Maybe no one will be interested. Hard to say.

I still have to fit Monica to Bobo so I can finish the straps. I’m still working on two felted bags right now. And that sweater.

Why am I still sitting here?

Oh, yeah! Because I have one final question to answer! Maddogknitting brings up the rear with here “several somethings” she wants to ask. “What time is the PARTY????, can I eat the roses???? Want some So. Cal sunshine? And why_____________Poops, why…you can fill in the blank.”

What time is the party? It’s always a party at Ask Poops, Please! Wooo hoooo!

Can I eat the roses? Of course! That’s the best part of the cake! I made a special cake just for the occasion that is completely covered with frosting roses so everyone’s piece has roses on it!

Want some So. Cal sunshine? Well, we’ve got the sunshine at the moment, but I’d take a bit of the warmth. It’s only in the 50’s and breezy today. Perfect spring weather, really. I may rake and paint the porch later…but don’t hold your breath! I hate raking. And painting.

And why…hmm, why what? Fill in the blank myself. That’s a tough one. Do I try to answer a riddle of the ages? Do I come up with something funny and/or off-color? Do I answer something self-searching for y’alls edification? All three?

I have a great question, and I can’t answer it. And it’s about knitbloggers I love.

Why don’t more knitbloggers write books?

The Yarn Harlot has made quite a nice living making observations about knitting. But why doesn’t PennyKarma have a book deal in the works? I’d sell my left leg (not my arm—I need it for knitting) to go to her book signing. Her view of the world is funny, and wry, and human. Heck, the fact that she knits as well is just icing on the cake really. Her stories touch us and make us laugh because she’s real. And hysterically funny, did I mention that?

And Bezzie. Have you read her Cheapass Christmas posts? How she did the whole Christmas season on $250 bucks? That’s impressive, people. She’s the Martha Stewart of Parsimony. This is the woman that made her own double-point needle case from an old VCR box, some elastic, yarn labels, a bandanna and hot glue. Don’t believe me? Take a look.

I would buy a book by either of them. I would show up at my local Barnes and Noble and ask them to sign my boobs.

You know you would, too.

4 Comments:

Blogger Bezzie said...

I think PK makes Erma Bombeck look like a sissy.
When someone comes to me with an advance to write a book, you'll be the first one to know and I'll have my agent book the tour to stop in NH so you can be my first pair of signed boobies.

1:50 PM  
Blogger The Fluffy Ewe said...

Hells yeah I'd buy a PK or Bezz book! I'd be there with my boobs ripe for the signing too.

I'm always amazed at peopel who can crank out the FO's and have lil children in the house. How do you do it? My oldest is about the same age as Bobo but on theother hand I do have a baby. At any rate, I can't wait to see the sweater!

3:00 PM  
Blogger Poops said...

Fluffy Ewe, I don't clean the house. That's my secret.

The motto in my house is "Cleanliness is next to impossible."

10:00 AM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

Hows 'bout I schedule a Boob Signing here at Dong Central?

11:21 AM  

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