Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Everything's In Progress Today

And I haven't taken a single picture. So there.

I made two Noro bags for my etsy shop that require lining still. So they're In Progress. I am working on a baby sweater for a cousin who is due in October (I think). I'm up to the sleeves and I just loathe knitting sleeves, so it's languishing at the moment, In Progress. I finished plying a skein of superwash wool last night and I set the twist, and now it's drying in the bathroom. And I started a bobbin of a silk/merino blend I got at NHSWF in May. Which, by the way, is going to be some GORGEOUS yarn, if I do say so myself. Provided I don't eff it up in some way. All In Progress.

So, lots of work, but not much to show for it at the mo.

The weekend was awesome and busy. Busy and awesome.

Okay, Saturday was just busy. I cleaned and cooked and then cleaned some more. I'm one of those all-or-nothing kind of housekeepers. My house maintains a moderate level of dirt and disarray until it goes past moderate into pigsty. Then, I bust my ass cleaning it. It's not a very good system, and now that it's clean I really do make an effort to pick up and wipe up and vacuum as I go along. For awhile. Then...back to my old tricks. It's a vicious cycle.

Like flossing. I always plan to floss religiously after my cleaning and admonishing from the hygenist, and I do great. For about a week. And then I stop. And six months later I get the speech about how I need to floss more. Yeah, I know.

And food. I start a diet and go great guns and lose lots and lots (we're talking hundreds of pounds here, people) of weight, and then...you guessed it, I go right back to old habits. And I gain it back and then some.

Turns out I'm a compulsive overeater. And I am getting help, finally. It's like I've always known what my problem was but I didn't know how to not have it anymore. Only the overeating wasn't my problem, so much as the overeating is only a symptom of a greater problem, and when I address that, my inability to control my food, or my flossing, or my housekeeping might just fall into place. I'm hoping so, anyway.

Yesterday was Day One of following a food plan. I chose Weight Watchers because I'm very comfortable with points, I've had great success with it in the past, and done correctly it is nutritionally sound while being very flexible. Someday I will likely have to change plans. I will continue to explore possible food addictions and drum out those foods that act as triggers for my overeating, if indeed food is a trigger.

I know boredom is a trigger. A big one, in fact.

Want to hear something weird? Part of my overeating recovery is keeping a journal, and because tracking points in a food journal is part of WW, away we go. I bought a book just for it and yesterday I started with a prayer. I committed my food plan to God. I told him that I would need help sticking to this, and I asked for his help when I needed it.

As an interesting aside, WW always encouraged you to write about your feelings or moods or whatever in your food journal, but I never did. I never noted any reflections. I just wrote out my food, tallied the points and moved on.

Yesterday, I had some reflections about food, and I wrote them down. Somehow, just seeing my concerns in print gave me hope. I wrote about my concerns at having to "give up" certain foods. I can't imagine my life without birthday cake. And I wondered if that's how an alcoholic feels when faced with the thought of life without so much as a champagne toast at a wedding. I imagine so.

But back to the weird thing. I told you that being bored is an eating trigger for me. I swear to you that if I wasn't crafty, I'd weigh 800 pounds and have my own show on the Discovery Channel. Being crafty keeps my hands busy, and busy hands are hands that can't eat.

Yesterday, I found myself unable to sit still. This is not a problem for me, usually. I am sedentary. My totem is the three-toed tree sloth. But I'd sit here at the computer for awhile and then I just had to get up. I did the dishes. I did some spinning. I cleaned up the living room, which was already clean. I sat down to knit, and didn't want to, so I got up and cleared the kitchen table, which was all but cleared to begin with. I even vacuumed. Holy Crap.

It was odd to not be able to sit still. Maybe God kept me busy so that I wouldn't have time to sit still and think about how much I wanted to eat something just to have something to do.

I decided yesterday was a good day to start, since the weekend was full of cookouts. Well, not Saturday, that was all about the cleaning. But Sunday afternoon I had a yard full of friends over for a Labor Day cookout. We had barbequed chicken and sweet Italian sausage with peppers and onions and a veritable bevy of salads to choose from. We ate and drank and listened to music out under the weeping willow while the kids played. We did have one major road rash injury, but not enough to ruin the party.

And as if partying until the sun went down on Sunday wasn't enough, Monday we had another impromptu cookout as well. My sister's best friend from college came up with her hubby and kids, and while he and Baboo golfed all day, the kids played and the rest of us visited. And then, more grilling and salads and chips. So it was a food-a-riffic weekend.

So Tuesday became Day One of Moderation for Poops. And it went just fine.

Today is Day Two, and so far, so good. One day at a time.

4 Comments:

Blogger Jessie said...

I have always had a rough time with food myself, and I feel for you. Its an addiction, and its a tough thing to break an addiction. If you need anything, accountability, someone to listen, I am here.
You can do it. I have much faith in you, and lots of prayers for you. You are beautiful. :) :) And so are your hand knits!

9:47 AM  
Blogger Bezzie said...

Good for your for tackling such a big issue piece by piece---and reminding me to floss. ;-)

9:47 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I hope your new food plan works out for you. I think praying really helps. Finding the will to pray is more important than will-power applied to dieting, in my opinion.

Now, do you want to come and help me out with my house? Cause we're in full-fledged pigsty mode over here.

11:27 AM  
Blogger schmobes said...

GOOD FOR YOU!

12:17 PM  

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