Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Old Dogs and Englishmen

Have nothing whatsoever to do with this post.

Apparently, Penny Karma still checks in from time to time in the vain hope that I have something interesting to say. (At least she's still leaving me comments--that has to mean something, right?)

This one's goin' out to you, PK! *poops attempts to flash some sort of pseudo-gang sign and looks ridiculous doing it*

Penny's one of the funniest bitches on the planet. She's terminally cool, yet all fucked up, and it makes for some great reading. And she swears more than I do, which in and of itself is a feat. I rein it in here pretty well, I think, but let it be known that I think in cuss words. I LOVE 'EM. Like Spongebob and Patrick, I prefer to think of them as "sentence enhancers." (Second best Spongebob episode ever. My personal fave: Band Geeks. Priceless.)

Anyway, she wants to know if Dave's in kindergarten yet. No, not quite. He's a big son of a bitch, though.

At his 8 month checkup he was 25 pounds. To put that in perspective, he's the same size the girls were at a little over a year old. He's built like a tiny nose tackle. He wears 18 month clothes and I'm white-knuckling it that he'll fit in his winter clothes for the rest of the winter.

He finally got his first two teeth in after about 5 months of teething, and he can sit by himself. He's been strong enough to do it for awhile, but he had some balance issues. I think if you had to haul around a melon the size of his you'd have balance issues too. He has a charming smile and an excellent sense of humor. He gets it from his maternal unit.

In a somewhat awkward but necessary seque, Father Albert is outside cleaning snow out of my driveway. How many of you can say you got plowed by your priest this morning, huh? Anyone? Show of hands...

We're having a snow day this morning. I have about 20 minutes to get Bug inside and ready for school, so this will be a short one. If you're good and you eat all your veggies I'll come back later when Dave's napping and tell you a story. It's about the bloodless coup of the Altar and Rosary Society, in which Poops plants her flag and steps on the backs of old ladies on her way to the Heavenly Kingdom.

Stay tuned...

4 Comments:

Blogger Penny Karma said...

I FUCKING LOVE SAILOR MOUTH!!

11:50 AM  
Blogger Trillian42 said...

I'm in total agreement on the Spongebob eps. Brilliance.

And on PK's massive awesomeness, too, of course.

:D

1:11 PM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Hehe...I look forward to hearing about this bloodless coup ;)

7:55 PM  
Blogger turtlegirl76 said...

I love that you think in cuss words. And Dave sounds impressive! Pics?

9:31 PM  

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