Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Second Best News I've Had All Day

First, this article.

Why Breast-Feeding Isn't Best

When I tried nursing the Bug, it didn't work out. Suffice it to say, it was horrible. It was nothing like I thought it was going to be. Through tears, I fed her formula, feeling that I'd let her down. I had been led to believe that I was now doing what was "second-best" for her. Hell, even the side of the formula can says "Breastmilk is best." Unfortunately, breastfeeding isn't, and may even harm mother and baby in the long run. I found that out after four days of sheer hell.

Minutes after putting that bottle in her mouth, I realized that all the breastfeeding books and articles I'd read were quite possibly--dare I say it?--Flat Ass Wrong.

Bug took that bottle, sucked happily and greedily, burped lustily and slept for four hours solid. Slept.

People, she was beautiful. I loved her from that moment on. I'd been nursing her for days and had yet to feel any of the blissfulness of bonding with my newborn. It didn't happen the first time they put her to my breast howling like a rabid monkey in heat. It never came when every hour on the hour she sucked with the force of a Hoover Windtunnel Upright. It didn't come as I sat crying as she sucked, weeping with pain and frustration, and certainly not as I watched her pass out exhausted from crying, hoping to God that she wouldn't wake up because then the screaming would start all over again. I prayed that she wouldn't wake because she'd want to eat, and I just didn't want to feed her anymore. She was a couple of days old and I didn't want to hold her.

The day I gave her formula, I loved my child. We bonded like never before. Feeding times became a pleasure. Eventually, my nipples healed and I vowed before God and anyone who would listen that I'd NEVER do that again for any reason.

And I have not.

Of course the nagging feeling that I was not doing the best for her weighed heavily on my mind. So I started doing research of my own into the benefits of breastfeeding and I couldn't find anything that put it out head and shoulders above formula. More disturbingly to me--feeling vindicated that my formula-fed babies were turning out just fine--is the complete lack of support for people like me who think formula is Da Bomb.

Until today. This article made me weep with happiness. Finally, someone is saying what I found out nearly 9 years ago. As a mother, I am convinced that the Nipple Nazis have long been trying to sell me a bill of goods, and now it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling duped about it.

The only good reason I can think of for breastfeeding an infant is Because You Want To. (Or if you're too cheap to spring for formula, which occupies the number two spot in my book.) Really, as far as I'm concerned the only good reason for having the critter in the first place is Because You Want To.

I'm not opposed to breastfeeding. I'm not saying anyone shouldn't do it. If you want to do it, that's lovely. If you enjoy it and want to do it forever, that great too. I always say that I'll try anything once, twice if I like it. Breastfeeding was no exception.

What I am saying that if you don't want to do it, or you give it a shot and you find that it sucks donkey cock, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER. You are not doing less than your best. You are not a failure as a woman. I'm fiercely opposed to statements like "Breast is Best." Best is a subjective term. What's best for your baby might not be best for mine. (Or my tits, for that matter.) My babies aren't any less bonded than any other babies in the world. My babies are healthy and happy. They are strong and beautiful.

Formula has a bad rap, and it is completely undeserved. Perhaps if more pediatricians like mine spoke up and said what we have always known to be true--that there is no actual difference between a breast- or bottle-fed baby. None. It's time to wipe away the stigma attached to formula feeding and tell the truth: formula feeding has its benefits as well, and should be considered in every way an acceptible source of nourshiment for infants. Or at least force some truth in advertising where breastfeeding is concerned and root out some of those exaggerated claims, skewed studies, and subjective terms.

But enough about breasts.

That article was awesome, but it's not the best news I had all day.

My dad found three old savings bonds in his stash. All in my name, dating back to the year of my birth, 1969. I figured I'd be lucky to get face value on them. Which would have been a hundred bucks I didn't have yesterday. Heck, if I got back what she paid, 62.50 would be a nice chunk of yarn money in the depths of a recession, right?

Kids, those baby keep earning interest. For thirty years.

I'm 350 bucks richer today because my aunt thought they'd make a lovely gift for her niece. And they were. Many belated thanks, Auntie!

And finally, a couple of finished baby sets, as promised, all ready to wrap.Sorry they're sideways, and sorry again for this weird linky thing that won't go away no matter what I do.

Pretty cute, I think.

Next up, more etsy listings and some new Bootayz.


Blogger SiressYorkie said...

AMEN, SISTAH! The midwives at the NHS hospital where I sprogged Max made my first three days with him sheer hell because of the guilt they piled on my not being able to breast feed. My child would scream from hunger, and I had to demand formula to feed him...and had to deal with them giving me the Evil Eye. For the NHS, it's a cost-saving mechanism to have high breast feeding success rates.

I fuckin' hate the Nipple Nazis and the La Leche drones who chant the Breast is Best mantra. You know what's best for my baby? You leaving me the fuck alone and letting me care for the miracle I've just produced. BREAST ISN'T BEST...meeting individual needs is. I didn't fail to breastfeed my child. I tried and wasn't able to. A lot of babes with PCOS can't. Choke on that, bitches.

The Breast Brigade will spout that kids who aren't tit fed won't bond, etc. Max and I are extremely close and loving, and he's healthy as a horse. Breast milk is not a panacea, nor is it liquid immunity. It's just one way of feeding a baby.

There's a pretty big disparity between was the doctor's office will say and what actual experience will provide.

I say, my tits, my call, and the Nipple Nazis can go right back to their covens.

6:26 PM  

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