Pants on Fire
What with all the lies?
Toyota: "There's nothing wrong with your brakes. Okay, well the gas pedal sticks sometimes. Well, more than sometimes. We're working on it. Here, have some new floor mats. That'll fix you right up. What? No? Hell, recall 'em all. But the Prius is fine. Who's on the phone? Steve Wozniak? The guy from Dancing With the Stars? Oh, and Apple computers, gotcha. Get rid of him. Well, what do you mean he might be right about the problem with the computer system. Okay, sometimes it makes the headlights turn off by themselves. But that's all. And there might be some acceleration issues. But that's it. Damn..."
John Edwards: "I did not have an affair with that woman. That there's my
campaign worker's girlfriend. Why no it's not at all suspicious that she lives with him and his wife and children. Lots of married guys have their pregnant mistresses live with their family. Baby? What baby? Let me see that picture. Well, I don't know WHO that is. DNA? Love to take a test. She did what? He said what...WHAT BOOK? 20/2o? Tell George Stephanopolous I'm not here. Okay, well it seem that it i my baby but I didn't really lie about it. Much. Damn..."
Bob the Roofer: "I'll be there in two weeks. June. July. August. I got hurt. You're next on my list. I'll be there next week. What's this envelope from the District Court? She's suing me in small claims court? And I have to pay what I stole from her plus the court fees? Damn..."
Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
Toyota: "There's nothing wrong with your brakes. Okay, well the gas pedal sticks sometimes. Well, more than sometimes. We're working on it. Here, have some new floor mats. That'll fix you right up. What? No? Hell, recall 'em all. But the Prius is fine. Who's on the phone? Steve Wozniak? The guy from Dancing With the Stars? Oh, and Apple computers, gotcha. Get rid of him. Well, what do you mean he might be right about the problem with the computer system. Okay, sometimes it makes the headlights turn off by themselves. But that's all. And there might be some acceleration issues. But that's it. Damn..."John Edwards: "I did not have an affair with that woman. That there's my
campaign worker's girlfriend. Why no it's not at all suspicious that she lives with him and his wife and children. Lots of married guys have their pregnant mistresses live with their family. Baby? What baby? Let me see that picture. Well, I don't know WHO that is. DNA? Love to take a test. She did what? He said what...WHAT BOOK? 20/2o? Tell George Stephanopolous I'm not here. Okay, well it seem that it i my baby but I didn't really lie about it. Much. Damn..."Bob the Roofer: "I'll be there in two weeks. June. July. August. I got hurt. You're next on my list. I'll be there next week. What's this envelope from the District Court? She's suing me in small claims court? And I have to pay what I stole from her plus the court fees? Damn..."
Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
posted by Poops | 3:10 PM
2 Comments:
I cannot tell you how much I love Judge Judy. It's on for two hours every day here. It's one of my guilty pleasures, to eat lunch and watch her ream out total entitled twonks with glee and finesse.
I want to be Judge Judy when I grow up. Seriously. That woman takes crap from nobody. It's not that she's mean, it's that she has a military-strength BS detector and will call you on it. She's awesome.
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