Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Feel Free to Get Your Teeth Out of My Ass

Am I wearing a sign that says "Just Screw Me"? Is it written on my forehead with Sharpie? Because sometimes it feels that way.

You know I'd rather walk a mile on my tongue than complain, but...

I've been trying to get a roof put on my house since April. I still don't have one. He has until the 31st to get one on or I get the money back that I paid him for the supplies. What do you suppose the odds of that are, huh? What do you want to bet I find myself in small claims court in November? You want to put some money on the date my insurance company decides to drop me for not having the roof done?

See, that's the way my luck runs. I get fucked over at every turn.

I'm the kind of person that gets into a line at the grocery store only to find that it's the slowest line in the store. I'm the gal that goes in to buy a sale item just to find out the the guy in front of me bought the last one, and no they won't be getting any more or issuing any rain checks, so sorry. I'm the person who gets a hell of deal on a pellet stove only to find two years later that the price of pellets has skyrocketed...and good luck finding any come Spring!

I once brought my car into the shop for a simple state inspection. It was running great--needed an oil change, but other than that it was great. I go to pick it up and the guy tells me Bad News: you have a broken something or other. It won't pass inspection without it, and it will cost you more than the car is worth to repair it. I told him I'd get back to him and in tears called my FIL, who is a mechanic for the State of NH. I asked him if it was something he could maybe find me some after-market parts for...and there was a pause on the other end of the line.

"What did he say was broken?" I told him what the guy told me about the something or other.

"When you look at it, does it lean to the right at all?" Nope.

"When you drive it, does it pull to the right at all?" Not a bit. It runs fine.

"Then there's no way your something or other is broken. You wouldn't be able to drive the car if it was." Really. "Really. Take your car to another mechanic, don't even mention the something or other since it's not even part of a state inspection in the first place, and get your sticker. Chalk the 20 bucks up to knowing better than to patronizing that particular car place again." Which I did.

Would that that experience was the only time I've been upsold at a car place. Here's a lesson for you, folks (especially if you don't have a FIL who is a mechanic): if they tell you that you need something else done besides what you asked for, DON'T GET IT.

Just prior to sitting down and venting my spleen about Things That Don't Go My Way, I called my Sister. She shares my opinion that I'm probably out 900 bucks, and to quote Han Solo (not that she would), "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Sister just had some guys come and blow insulation into her old house. They came when scheduled, did the job on schedule, and did just what they said they'd do with no additional charges. I pointed out that it would never have happened for me.

She laughed. "No, they'd have stuck the hose in and blown the plaster clean off the wall. Or you'd open the cellar door and have insulation up to the top step."

Yeah, if they didn't skip town with my check and head for Florida.

So, feeling better having vented to Sister--as I often do--I sat down to tell all y'all about this, and I see the reflection of the Lowe's truck in the back window. It's sort of my nosy-neighbor-rearview mirror-early warning detection system. I turn around and look out the front window and see that it's probably Sister's new washing machine (front load, high efficiency, fucking nice) being delivered. Only I just hung up the phone with her and know she's not home yet. So I run next door like Gladys Kravitz and let the guys in. ("Abner! They're delivering the washer and she's not home! Abner! Are you listening to me? It's the WASHER!")

Long story short, not two minutes after they did their job swiftly and efficiently and an hour ahead of schedule, Sister pulls in. I explained that it's all in, and I made if official by putting my old Jane Hancock on the delivery slip.

Of course if the hoses detach and start spraying water everywhere, we'll know who to blame for that, won't we?


Blogger Helen said...

unfortunately, I've found that women are still taken advantage of in car situations. I always coerce my husband in to taking my car in for oil changes and the like, because I KNOW they will try and sell me something. While I know enough to know what I do and don't need to do (and can do things like change air filters myself, thankyouverymuch), I just hate going because it's all so....argh. I hate being a woman sometimes. but then again, it's fun when you really do know stuff and can call them out on it.

2:32 PM  
Blogger Bezzie said...

It also helps to have driven a piece of shit car for six year. I'd like to thank the Ford Motor Company for that learning lesson. That piece of crap taught me everything I know about car repair!

6:18 AM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

What's a pellet stove?

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Christy said...

My friend says that students were charged all the time for "filling up the fluid" in their headlights where she went to college.

I loved my Saturn because when I took it to the dealership for oil changes and whatnot, they had the schedule laid out for you, and showed you what they charged. They never tried to charge me extra for anything, never tried to sell me a service I didn't need.

But that was before GM folded them back into the loving arms of craptacularness.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Batty said...

It's got to get better, right?

I'm not going to start the car repair/misogyny rant, or I'll be typing and fuming till 5 am or so. Grrrr.

8:47 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I hope that the roof has started and that you don't have to worry about trying to get your money back.

4:31 PM  

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