Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Yesterday I attempted to make Bezzie's Texas Forgotten Frost Toque. I say attempted because it appears to me that I am physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of making a pattern as written. I just can't do it. I must tweak. I will tweak.

So for starters, mine is not made from homespun, mostly because I didn't have any that was appropriate; but per the instructions I used some regular worsted weight yarn, in this case Elann Peruvian Highland wool. Nice stuff, and the price is right.

Secondly, I chose a different stitch pattern. See, Bug is still a little girl, and I found that the original pattern was too wide to serve as a headband for her. It was more like a hat, really. So I just chose a narrower pattern from one of my many books. This particular one was originally part of a lace ribbed hem from Nicky Epstein's Knitted Embellishments.

Third, I used pearls instead of seed beads. Originally I got out my white seed beads, but against the off-white wool they looked awkward. So I used some random pearls instead. Right church, wrong pew.

Finally, I did do the increases and decreases as written, as well as the buttonhole placement. I didn't go with seed stitch on the increases, though. I threw caution to the wind and just kept it in ribbing right up to the lace part. And as she points out, anyone getting that close to the back of your head better be sleeping with you. Or you need to redefine your concept of personal space. (I heart Bezzie!)

So I guess what I have in the end is a headband that isn't exactly a Texas Forgotten Frost Toque, but something reminiscent of it. It's an homage to the original. Were it to hang in a museum, it would say "inspired by" beside it. And not for nothing, but the frost here is anything but forgotten. It was -5F when we went to school this morning. No frostbite worries here, though. We have plenty of woolen handknits to get us through the coldest of cold days and, oh yeah, Dad lets us take his truck!

Bug loves it no matter how it came out and wore it to school today. So it's all good.

Lately, what with it being so cold and all, I've found myself envying people whose houses burn down. I know that's awful to say and a darn good way to call down some bad juju, but hear me out. See, my house is old and drafty and needs a lot of work. Work which takes a lot of money, which we of course don't have. And I see people who had old drafty houses that they were fixing up and something happens and it burns to the ground. And less than a year later, they've built a brand new one with all new stuff and most importantly, a new roof, insulation, siding, heating system, windows, floors, insulated get the idea. Suffice it to say that an out of control fire would take care of my crazy clutter, my out of date wardrobe issues, and many home improvement issues.

So this morning, I cleaned out the ashes from the pellet stove. When it's cold like this I don't have the luxury of waiting until the unit is cold before cleaning it, and usually there are some hot embers still in the ash pan. I put them in a metal container, of course, and put them out on the porch.

I got back from school this morning and coming up the stairs smelled something burny. Not smoldering ashes burny either. I picked up the metal ash bucket and the hot bottom had singed the wood porch! I put the ash bucket in the snow and put some snow on the scorched part to stop any lingering burns. Lesson learned. See, I almost got my wish!

(I'm not stupid or anything. I thought the bucket I was using had a lip on the bottom so the hot part of the bucket never touched the porch. I was wrong. That's the other ash bucket that's out in the shed. Now I know. I'm going to put a couple of bricks on the porch to set the ash bucket on from now on.)

Finally, you have got to see this. You will pee.

Pineapple! Pineapple! Pineapple!


Blogger Bezzie said...

Ha ha! That looks much better than mine! I dig the pearls--nice touch!

If I wasn't at work I'd watch that video...I'll have to wait til I'm home to pee my pants!

10:38 AM  
Blogger Zonda said...

Nice job on the togue! Hey at least you can tweak a pattern and have it still come out good! :)

And um...PINEAPPLE! hehe Still cracking up!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Batty said...

Very cute!

10:47 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

You know, I also get the random thought that a good house fire would solve a lot of my problems. But, yeah, realistically, not worth it! Especially since at this point we have done the furnace, water heater, AC, windows, front door, and added a porch. The fire would have been better about 8 years ago.

Great little headband you made. Such a cute girl you've got there!

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi poops!!
I love that headband! It is so cute. I also enjoyed your blog tremendously. You are a kick in the ol pants. That ol drafty house is full of character...I am sending you financial fortune juju so you can fix it up.
Fiberfool from knitty.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Kathy Kathy Kathy said...

Shhh! You're tempting fate. Now if the Internet catches fire . . . well, I'll just hope it only gets singed. For your sake.


8:40 PM  
Blogger Thea said...

She looks adorable, and great that she'll wear it! I make so much that lives in the drawers after the initial excitement - and your girls look to be the same ages as mine! They are adorable in their new haircuts.

On the house thing, I hear you. 1859, mine. I keep wishing for this one big tree to fall on the side I want to renovate - of course, it must fall we're not home.... Instead, one fell in the backyard, hit nothing, and will cost $$$ to clean up. Again with the juju.

7:49 AM  

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