Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Monday, October 23, 2006

It's Not Entirely My Fault

I would like to start by saying that Blogger sucks. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Blogger sucks.

Now that that’s out of the way, I want to say that I am aware that it’s been eons since I’ve updated my blog, and that it’s not entirely my fault. First of all, I updated my virus scan software and now I’m getting error messages left and right. The good people at Trend Micros are trying to figure it out, but everytime I see “program not responding” I want to chuck the stupid computer out the window.

Deep breath.

And the other reason I’ve been away is that I’ve been sick.

I’ve got the whooping cough. I know, who gets whooping cough these days? Well, me, for one.

And yes, I know you were vaccinated as a kid and you think you can’t get it too. Well, let me tell you something, Smuggy Superiorton: your immunity was gone by the time you graduated high school. It seems that the vaccines we got as kids were only safe to get until we were 13 or so. And there were no safe adult boosters, so by the time we were adults, we were ripe for the picking by the old Pertussis bacteria. Or is it a virus? I forget.

Apparently, it’s going around in adults again, due largely in part to the fact that it doesn’t look like whooping cough until it’s really too late to do much about it.

Here’s how it shakes down. You get a cold. Some asshat sneezes on you at the bank, or your first grader brings home some germs from one of her dirty little classmates. Either way, you get a cold. Runny nose, congestion, cough, sore throat, aches and pains, the works. Only after about a week of it, you don’t feel a bit better, despite all the NyQuil and chicken soup. And your cough is getting worse instead of better. So you bite the bullet and drop in on your internist.

He listens to your chest and says, “Well, you have a cold. You need some chicken soup, plenty of fluids and rest. And here’s some codeine for the cough, sounds like a touch of bronchitis.” And you pay the nice lady on the way out and go home with the benefit of all that medical training.

At two weeks, you don’t feel better. You’re coughing any time you exert yourself. Something as simple as going up stairs to put the baby down for a nap or walking next door to see how your sister’s kitchen renovation is coming brings on a coughing fit that lasts for five minutes or more, during which you’ve pissed your pants a bit and are having trouble catching your breath.

You call Dr. Feelgood back and get in for an appointment, and you tell him all about your dry cough and how you can’t seem to do anything more strenuous than sit in your recliner and knit. And as enjoyable as this is, you miss having a life.

So he listens to your chest again and tells you it sounds fine to him, so he thinks you have Whooping Cough.

You say “What the fuck? Who gets whooping cough?”

He says, “You do.”

Huh.

So he gives you an antibiotic—finally!—and some more codeine and tells you to sit and knit until you feel better. Which could be another 4 weeks or so since 7 weeks is the average run for whooping cough if not treated in the first two weeks. You know, back when he told you that you had bronchitis and wouldn’t give you that antibiotic.

So kiddies, I’m on the mend. I’m almost done my arithromycin and I’m not coughing nearly as much. And I’m no longer contagious, though God knows how many people I gave this to back when it was “just a cold.” And, I have a massive supply of Tylenol with codeine to get me through those rough days with the toddler.

Speaking of the toddler, I made her sweater in between coughing bouts. It is the Knitting Pure and Simple rollneck sweater, only I made a bell-shaped turtleneck because I cannot make a pattern as written. The cuffs and bottom edge are 1 x 1 ribbing and the neck was originally just 1 x 1 as well, only my bind-off is still a bit tight and it hurt her when we put it on her or took it off. So I added the same “design feature” as Bug’s poncho and made a series of increases that made a turtleneck that belled out like a modified Elizabethan collar-type thingy. It’s more comfy now, for sure.

I used the Oceanos colorway by handpaintedyarn.com and use the same stitch pattern as Bug’s poncho so they kind of match.

And I’m on pair number twelve out of fifteen of the Red Hat Lady Slippers that I’m making on commission. I should be able to finish them this week, I’m thinking. God willing and the creek don’t rise. And provided that I don’t get gout or consumption or something ridiculously out of date like that.

Oh, and I’ve been told after my second attempt at cantoring, this time in tandem with Sue P., that I’m good to go solo any time I want. Only the cantor schedule is already set and I don’t know if I’m supposed to wait and see if someone can’t do it and jump in with an offer, or pick a mass I like and ask the scheduled cantor to step aside. Really, I’m okay with waiting until Advent and the new schedules come out. Rumor has it (from Fr.’s mouth) that she’s working on them even as we speak. Kewl.

Either way. I’m back and still coughing from time to time. But now I have to go feed the kid. Between computer error messages and Blogger’s usual antics, this has taken FOREVER to post and she is late getting down for her nap.

Don’t hate me. Because I love you more than my luggage.

3 Comments:

Blogger Penny Karma said...

I (cough, cough) love you.

- Smugworth "Smuggy" Superiorton III.

1:14 PM  
Blogger Thea said...

Also also hate hate hate blogger! My computer is fine all over the internet, but try and get into the Blogger control panel and kaput. But I love your new mittens!! And sorry to hear on the whooping cough - my sister had vertigo this summer - another "you've got to be kidding??" malady.... who knew??

6:30 PM  
Blogger ZantiMissKnit said...

Don't you just love the handpaintedyarn colorways? That blue is gorgeous -- and the kid is pretty cute, too!

I hope you feel better soon!

4:22 PM  

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