Seen on Penny Karma's Blog

Like my friend Yorkie, I too am a regular reader and frequent flyer over at Penny Karma's blog Behold My Brilliance. She is funny as hell, people. That's all I can say. She's just fucking brilliant. If you are ever in a bad mood, pop in. Read the archives, or as she calls is "What Did I Just Get Finished Saying To You?"

Anyway, this is a clip from her most recent entry. Yorkie quoted it, and I will as well, since it actually made me laugh so hard I choked on my own saliva, and that's a rare joy indeed.

She calls these "Mommy Mad Libs" and as anyone who has kids and is honest about their thoroughly irritating qualities can attest, these are spot-on. If you're not prone to swearing around your children, much less at them, you might not find them funny. And I feel bad for you.

Anyway, here they are. Penny Karma's Mommy Mad Libs. Enjoy.


How did the (foreign substance) get (preposition) the (noun)?


Oh, (adjective) (deity), why can't you (verb) like a normal person?


Do I even want to know why you'd put a (noun) in a (appliance)?


For (expletive)'s sake, will you stop (verb ending in -ing) so (adverb ending in -ly)?


You can not tell your (relative) to (verb) himself.


Did you just give a (snack food) to a (wild animal)?


No, we're not going to the (fun place); we're going to the (boring place).


If you (verb) in (house of worship) (number) more times, I'm going to (verb) your (body part) so (adverb), it'll be (color) for (number) (measurement of time).


You gotta be (expletive) (expletive) (expletive) kidding me.


The woman needs a book deal. Anyone? Please?