I'm Sorry, But You've Been Hidden

I realized today what a liberating feeling it is to block people from my Facebook feed. I feel much lighter already.

I had to do it, you see. I was beginning to type in appropriately snarky responses to things they posted and deleting them before sending. I realized I was on a slippery slope that was going to escalate (I think that was mixed metaphor) into not deleting but just going ahead and speaking my mind, to finally writing things just to piss annoying people off. 'Cause, you know, I can do shit like that.

So I blocked a few friends, and here's why. First of all, each is annoying in his own way. Annoyance is the one over-riding thing that will get you banished from my sight.

Guy number one, the first person to be hidden months ago, fancies himself a stand-up comedian, so we shall call him CaptainUnfunny because sadly, he is not funny. I have the YouTube clips to prove it. His crime is posting what he thinks are witty and urbane observations--and trust me, they're not. Or worse yet he lets us all know his latest gig and the latest gigs of all his performer friends.

Now, if I start going on everyday and saying "Hey! Check out the new stuff in my etsy shop!" I would hope people would block me too.

Which brings me to Gal #2 who we shall call YouCrackMeUpLOL. She's one of those type of people who thinks we're closer than we are. I have two of those type of friends. This one got blocked because of her constant need to tell people what she's doing and/or thinking every minute of every day. I bet she tweets. Which I don't mind, if you are amusing. Want to know what isn't amusing?

I am gonig to bed yawn lol

I just had a cup of coffee lol

AforementionedComedianFriend you are so funny lol

You get the idea. Despite being my complete political opposite in every way, she manages not to irritate me with the grand pantheon of things she has the potential to use.

Which brings me to PossibleLesbian. I don't know if she's gay or not, but I'm betting on yes because if not, she's the most Pro-Gay straight person I've ever met. (Most people I know agree with Bette Davis when she said "I'm all for gay rights, but what's in it for me?")

PL is actually the sister of a friend of mine from way back, and what makes PL annoying is not that I can't figure out if she's a lesbian or not, not that it matters because I truly don't care, but it's the fact that she thinks she's smarter than she actually is. Her posts are mostly pseudo-intellectual blather, but it's the righteous indignation over perceived injustices that pushed me over the edge.

She posted an article from Salt Lake City about a Mormon-owned bookstore that stopped carrying the Twilight books in their store. According to the article, the bookstore in question specializes in religious books and books that would be of interest to Mormons. They carried the Twilight books in the first place because the author is LDS. However, at some point they realized that because they weren't selling well (who goes to a religious bookstore to get vampire books?) and space was limited, so they said they'd stop selling it in the store, but you could order online if you wanted.

She posted that with a rant about not banning books.

They didn't ban ANYTHING. But she's one of those activist cuckoos who always has her Jockey's in a knot over something.

Which brings me to LesbianActivist. This is the other friend who thinks we're closer than we actually are. And she's on the front line of every liberal cause there is. She's so far to the left she's practically coming around to the other side. Me, I'm libertarian in my political leanings, conservative in most areas of my life, and I have an uncanny abililty to see both sides of any argument. If there was a perfect job for me in the world, it would be Devil's Advocate. Which is a real job, by the way.

LA sees one side: hers. She's a gay activist and would like you better if you were too. She's a recovering alcoholic, and so are you. She's had gastric bypass, and so should you. And so on, ad infinitum.

Her posts are all about all the terrific gay things in the world. Sometimes I suspect she's gay because she loves the lesbian lifestyle. I am friends with more gay people than I can shake a fist-shaped dildo at, and I gotta tell you, she's the only person I've ever suspected of choosing to be gay. Every single one of my gay friends is gay the same way I'm straight. We just ARE. It's not a club they joined, or a cause they support, or even something they have to mention. It's a non-issue, truly.

And I am all for gay marriage. I say everyone should have the equal right to ruin their life. I don't think broadening the definition of marriage will in any way cause the institution to deteriorate. I think it will make it stronger. I also realize that not everyone shares the same religious convictions and it is as unfair for any group to push their religious beliefs on someone as it is for gay activists to force anyone to back down from the basic tenets of their faith.

But I also believe that any church has the right to say No Way Jose. I think a church, a minister, a photographer, whomever objects to providing services should be left alone. Anti-discrimination lawsuits can and will happen, and I'm glad that Gov. Lynch had the foresight to attempt to protect religious freedom while allowing sexual freedom to win the day.

I hope it works. I want everyone to be happy.

But here's the kind of shit I find annoying as all get out.

The first was a picture she posted a week or two ago that was an...we'll call it an homage, though I don't feel that way...of the famous photograph of the raising of the flag on Iwo Jima. The photo is two women in wedding gowns and two dudes in tuxedos raising a rainbow flag.

I feel very strongly about veterans and veterans affairs, and that rubbed me the wrong way. That black and white photo should remind people of how many lives were lost in a war that did nothing short of freeing the whole world. I get the point that was being made, but I object to the method used to make it.

The second one was the flag image she posted that was the US flag with some sort of gay rights symbol in the blue field instead of stars. Again, I couldn't help but feel a bit slighted on behalf of the men and women who fought and died to protect the freedoms that flag symbolizes. Fly it as is, or don't fly it at all. Again, I found it inappropriate.

I thought seriously of posting my own version of the flag but with a cross of stars instead and claiming it was the Christian American flag. Or perhaps a nice Star of David instead. How about the Islamic Crescent? No?

Changing the image of our flag doesn't win any victories, or make any points, other than that we are a country divided at all times over any number of political, social, and religious issues. It serves to widen the gap, not close it.

But I had to block her before I posted my own Catholic Rights flag. Or alerted my local VFW. And I thought seriously of signing up for the Legalize Polygamy group because...well, why not? When you think about it, polygamy should have more support than gay marriage. The Old Testament is FULL of it!

Anyway, I digress. The straw on the back that told me it was time to cut bait was her post about her friend winning Gay Idol. I have no idea what that even means, but when the response that came to mind first was "Hey, you're still gay? Cool, I had NO IDEA!" well, I'm thinking it's time to walk away. And blog about it.

LOL.

I hid a few other people only because I friended them because they were friends once and they asked, but I've since realized that I have nothing in common with them and really don't care much what they're up to, so I just hid them instead of scrolling through a flurry of unwanted info. And I'll hide anyone that cannot or will not use some semblance of proper written English in their posts. Hell, I'll happily attempt to read your posts if you're fluent in say German (like Yorkie) or French (like Mme P, my HS French teacher). But if you start "u r so funny lol" -ing me, I'm hiding you faster than kiddie porn on a hard drive, mister.

I say, thin the brush. Cull the herd. Weed out life's little annoyances. G'wan...it's liberating!