Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Friday, December 21, 2007

All is Well, Dave is Fine

So far so good. Just wanted to check in and let you know that things went fine at the doctor's office. I had my regular checkup, but because of my weight he couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler. No big deal, it's happened before. (BTW, I gained less than a pound in five weeks. So there.) So he asked if I had plans for the next hour or so and I said "no" so he told me to go down to the lab and do my glucose test for gestational diabetes. Which I did.

If you've never done this, it involves drinking what tastes a lot like very sweet orange soda then waiting an hour before they take some blood from you. So I drank, I waited, I bled for the nice phlebotomist.

Then I go back up to the OB office and Doc is back with the portable ultrasound and I got a quick peek at Dave. Heart beating away, moving around (sure, he's full of glucose!), and Dr. T said it looks good.

But that's not what I came to tell you about.

As I'm checking in, at the same time there's a woman in there checking in too and she's got four boys with her ranging in age from early teens (9th grade or so?) down to about 4 years old-ish. The two youngest had RATTAILS and the oldest one...get this...was ROCKIN' THE KENTUCKY WATERFALL! God as my witness, the kid had a mullet. They looked like a NASCAR commercial. And I swear the youngest one had his hair frosted. Come to that, the oldest one's hair looked like it might have been dyed. I'm pretty sure Mom couldn't remember her original hair color, come to that.

I'd never seen anything like it, and I swear if there was ever a reason for the camera phone, that's IT.

Three rattaiils and a mullet.

Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

It Sure is Purty Out There

We've had three snow storms in a week. It's a pain in the neck, but it is pretty to look at. This is the view from my front porch.

I actually like it when we get a ton of snow. The house is warmer. We use the snowblower to shoot snow against the foundation and bank it up. It doesn't keep out all the drafts, but it does help a lot.

I have to go out and rake the roofs later. The bathroom roof and the porch roof are full of snow, and if we don't pull it down before Sunday they could collapse. And that would suck. Sunday we're expecting an inch or so of rain. Which is going to freeze by Sunday night and into Monday making things nice and slick. The snow will be good and shiny, though!

Christmas knitting is finally done. I forgot Bug's teachers until the last minute, so I bought some disposable coffee cups with lids, filled them with hot cocoa mix and chocolate candies and knit coffee cozees for each one. I had them done Wednesday night for the party on Thursday, then we went and had a snow day. They went in today, though.

Today I have an appointment with the doctor to measure Dave, which is what we've started calling the Pooper. When we asked Bobo what she wanted to call the baby, she looked right at us and said "Dave. Or Kevin." Now she just says Dave, so that's what we call it. We don't know if it's a boy, even. But Dave it is.

Now, I've known for a long time that parenting magazines are mostly full of bunk, but now I'm realizing that pregnancy magazines are even worse. Bunk, bunk, bunk, I tell ya. Not to mention all the advertisements. I swear they exist just to sell us crap we don't need.


I'm off to see the doc. Not quite the Wizard, but whatever.

Monday, December 17, 2007

It's a Freaking Winter Wonderland Out There

We're on a two-hour delay this morning. It works out well because Bug has a head cold and wasn't feeling all that perky when she woke up. She'll rally by 10 though, I'm positive. Bobo has caught her cold, but the good news is that they'll be over it by Christmas.

So we were hit by that storm that passed through most of the northern states yesterday. We got at least 6 inches of snow, maybe a bit more, and then it turned to a "wintry mix" after that, but that wasn't as bad as we thought it was going to be. Today it's cold and windy and you would know that we ran out of pellets for the stove last night. And that poor old furnace isn't doing much to keep this poor old house warm on its own. Alas.

We finally got the tree up. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. It's up, and Bug's been putting the ornaments on it. She still has a few to go, and I've already decided that if she doesn't finish before she leaves for school that I'm going to finish it myself so I can get the ornament boxes back in the shed and out of my living room.

I got my Christmas cards sent out on Saturday. Finally.

I also got a start on my Christmas shopping last week. Again, nothing like waiting until the last minute. Bobo and I are heading out tomorrow and I plan on finishing it up then. I lucked out in that I sold a bunch of my knitting to a lady from our choir, so I had a big fat check to go out shopping with last time, and this time I'll go armed with payment for a funeral I cantored on Friday and from Sister for some little felted purses she contracted for her nieces. We've so far done all our Christmas shopping on money from my talents. How weird is that? We haven't yet had to dip into the household budget funds for such things.

I'm not going crazy with gifts this year. People will have to be happy with what they get. I also realized that my shopping list is extensive. I have to get gifts not only for my two kids and husband, but Sister and Baboo, Dad and Bonnie, Ma, DH's parents, DH's brother and sister and their spouses and kids. And my cousin's three girls when we get together with my mother's family. The adults don't exchange gifts and thank God we opted out of yet another heinous Yankee swap. We just get gifts for the kids.

But enough of Christmas.

Here are the bags I made for Sister's nieces. You can see Emma's grubby paw helping out in a Price is Right kind of way.

In other news of the knitting sort, I'm working on a scarf for Erly's husband Jack as a thank you for letting me use her wheel to learn to spin. The yarn is my own homespun, of course. I've frogged it at least three times so far. It's all black and it will match the Norwegian sweater he wears when he snowblows. That sweater is testimony to good knitting and the insulating properties of wool. The man never wears a coat when he works outside, just his sweater and a turtleneck. And gloves. Well, and pants and's cold!

In other news of the non-knitting sort, I spent the day Saturday helping take care of baby twins! I fed them both, changed them both, and both of them took a nap on me at one time or another. I left the house smelling of was lovely. And then it was off to a Christmas party at another friend's house where we stayed until 10:30. I was pooped. Which is sad because I remember a time in my misspent youth when we didn't even get dressed to go out until 11! Now, my coach turns back into a pumpkin well before midnight.

I can't believe it'll be Christmas Eve in a week.

It's sure to be a white one!

Friday, December 07, 2007

All About Poops, Please

More shit than you'd ever want to know about me. Ripped right off of CBear's blog since I'm completely and utterly devoid of any other blog fodder this week...

Elaborate on your default icon:
When I joined the Knittyboard, I knew I needed an avatar to fit in. So I googled "sheep" and that little sheep made from an egg came up. I thought it was cute and I made it into an avatar. I don't change it here, but on the Knittyboard I've been changing it with the season. Right now it's a still from Holiday Inn, where Der Bingle sings White Christmas.
What’s your current relationship status?
Happily married for 9 years now, together for 11 altogether.
Ever have a near-death experience?
Nope. I try to be careful.
Name an obvious quality you have:
Sense of humor. I think it would be obvious from the moment I open my mouth to speak.
What’s the name of the song that’s stuck in your head right now?Earlier this morning it was "It's Electric! Boogie oogie oogie..." Thank God that's passed. Right now, I'm song free, but if something jumps in before I post this, I'll add it here.
Any celeb you would marry?
I'd have to meet one first! But are there some I'd like to meet, or maybe sweat up the sheets with...youbetcha. Right now I'd like to wear Brett Favre out in a big way, and I find Stephen Colbert oddly sexy.
Who will cut and paste this first?
I don't know, really. Most of the people who read my blog have interesting and exciting blogs of their own. I want to be like them.
Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
No, not so much. Though one time I went to a Mary Kay party and got all tarted up with their makeup and I thought I looked an awful lot like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show.
Do you wear a watch?
No. Time has no meaning to me anymore.
Do you have anything pierced?
Just my ears. I wanted to get them pierced again when I was a teenager and my mother forbade me until I was 18. Well, by the time I was 18, I didn't want that second trendy hole quite so much. It's why I don't have a tattoo, either. Buyers remorse and all.
Do you have any tattoos?
No, see above. I've never found anything I've felt the need to make a permanent part of my body.
Do you like pain?
No, but I handle it okay, I think. Did I tell you that Emma was 9 lbs, 2 oz., her arm came out at the same time as her head, and the epidural didn't take? I didn't like it, but I survived it. But now that I think of it, there are some "light bondage" activities that involve a wee bit of pain that actually translates into pleasure, so I can't really say my answer is an unequivocal "no".
Do you like to shop?
For yarn, yes. I could do it all day long, and have been known to. I hate clothes shopping, unless it's for my kids. I don't mind grocery shopping either.
What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
We pay for most everything with cash. I think the last thing was a juice for Bug on the way to school a couple days ago.
What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
We don't have any credit cards! I even transferred some money to my debit card for some online shopping and haven't had to use it yet!
Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
My friend Steve. He called last night to see if DH was available to help another friend out at his business this weekend.
What is on your desktop background?
A field of tulips. I need to switch it to my winter background now.
What is the background on your cell phone?
I don't have a cell phone.
Do you like redheads?
Absolutely. I think I was supposed to be a redhead and something got mixed up somewhere. My Grammy was a redhead.
Do you know any twins?
Sure do! Baboo is a twin, and my cousin has twin boys. My dad has cousins that are twins.
Do you have any weird relatives?
You should ask me if I have any normal relatives. It would take less time to list them. I'm reminded of a quote by Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women: "We never hide our crazy relatives, we bring them right on into the parlor and show them off. Southerners never ask if you have crazy people in your family, they ask which side they are on." That goes for us damn yankees, too.
What was the last movie you watched?
I think it was one of the Austin Powers movies.
What was the last book you read?
Thrones, Dominations. It's a Lord Peter Wimsey novel.
Is there such a thing as love at first sight, or it is more likely to be lust at first sight?
Yes, and yes.
What’s your favorite book?
I have so many that it's really not a fair question. Really, there are tons of them.
When was the last time you visited the street where you first lived?
I still live on the street where I first lived. In the same house, even.
When was the last time you googled your own name?
Not in awhile, but nothing about me actually comes up. There are quite a few successful people with my name out there, though.
What was / is your favorite subject at school?
English, literature and composition.
What was / is your least favorite subject at school?
Math all the way. Ugh.
Do you like having your photograph taken?
I loathe it. Unless I'm naked, and then it's just good kinky fun.
What time were you born?
8:26 a.m. by caesarean section.
Ever seriously questioned your sanity?
Nope, I'm right as the mail.
How many phone numbers do you have remembered and can say off the top of your head?
Hmmm, tons, really. I can call my immediate family, my inlaws, and a bunch of friends.
Can you Limbo?
No, I'm not very bendy.
Have you ever killed your own dinner?
No, but I've eaten meals my mother has killed. (She used to bowhunt.)
How long have you been living at your current residence?
38years. 39 in April.
What phobias do you have?
I'm afraid of heights, and I'm not crazy about the dark either.
What’s your ideal breakfast?
Anything sweet. Could be pancakes or waffles, donuts, muffins, danish...big piece of chocolate cake. I don't really care.
Where are you right now?
At the computer, obviously. It's in the kitchen.
Why do you blog?
Why not?
What would you call your autobiography?
Ask Poops, Please.
What’s the longest time you’ve stayed out of the country / where?
Back during my mis-spent youth, I spent about 6 or 8 weeks of two consecutive summers in the Far East.
Do you use ICQ, AIM, etc..?
Do you have nightmares frequently?
I have anxiety dreams before attempting something new, but usually they're just regular dreams. My pregnancy dreams are AMAZING. It's like being at the cinema all night. I swear I'm exhausted just from being up all night in my head watching these weird shows.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Of course. We'd be best friends!
Which TV character could you be friends with?
Lennie Briscoe. Chandler Bing. Janitor on Scrubs. Everyone on My Name is Earl.
What’s on your mouse pad?
A gel wrist rest.
What is your ring tone?
I don't have a ring tone. I don't have a cell phone, remember?
What did you watch on TV last night?
I made it most of the way through Earl before I had to go to bed. I didn't feel well at all.
Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy ending. I hate scary movies.

There you go. Fifty things about me you never really needed to know. Feel free to cut and paste at will...

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Check Out My Big, Hairy Pussy

Made you look. This is Lilith. She pretends to hate having her picture taken; yet when she sees me coming with the camera, stretches out her front paw in a luxurious pose. She loves my chair. Especially after I've been in it and warmed it up for her.
This is Stellina! It's one of Zib's patterns and is available at The Garter Belt. It was, like most of Zib's patterns, easy and pretty quick to knit, and I love how it came out. I actually made two of these. This is Bobo's and it made from Berroco Ultra Alpaca and Bug's is navy blue and made from Galway wool. I made them matching mittens as well. The hats are for Christmas and they match their respective "church coats". My mother found a red wool dress coat for Bug back when she was Bo's age. She loved it because she said it looked just like the wool coat she used to wear to church when she was a kid. So we called it her "church coat". (Even though they usually wear their regular old winter coats to church.) Bug outgrew the red one and Grammy found her a navy blue one. Now they'll have matching hats and mittens for them.
Here they are on Monday's snow day! We got somewhere between 6 and 12 inches and it's been cold, so it's going nowhere fast. Yes, Earl Hickey does have her eyes closed again in this picture. I took three different ones, and the one with her eyes open is going in the Christmas card. I liked this one the best, though.

I'm ashamed to admit that Bo isn't wearing any of my handknits. Storebought hat, fleece scarf, and handknit mittens, though not by me. Bug is completely geared out by me, however. Hat, scarf, and mittens--yeah baby!

They had a nice morning playing in the snow and then came in for hot cocoa and cookies.

Hooray for snow days!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Tiny Pussy

A couple of days ago I came here to update the blog. And on the home page of Blogger they flash by names of recently updated blogs. Perhaps you've seen it?

Anyway, one of the blogs was called "Tiny Pussy."

If I had a blog like that, I would fill it with pictures of kittens.

That'd piss some people off, I think...

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