I Love a Good Blog Contest

Case in point: Yorkie's Caption Contest. Usually, I'm not very good at these things. I read what other people write and figure I can never think of anything that clever, so I just don't even try. But the one day I'm feeling particularly sharp I give it a shot, and guess what? I'm in a caption shoot-out with PennyKarma! We're competing for...I'm not even sure what we're competing for. I have no idea what the prize is!

Moments like this make me understand how Debra Messing felt when she heard the Emmy nominations this year. Yeah, maybe you did the best work of your life in The Starter Wife, but you're up against Helen Fucking Mirren, for God's sake! It's where the phrase "It's an honor just to be nominated" came from.

I don't believe I can out-snark The Great PennyKarma. She could beat me with her power panties tied behind her back. She's my Helen Mirren. But hell, it's an honor just to be nominated.

So last night I had my teacher meeting for Religious Ed. Or as we called it in the day, CCD. I have five kids in my class, and I already know one of them, so that made me happy. I think it'll be a good year, Tater.

This was in my teacher packet. I liked it a lot. I thought I'd share it as a Thought For the Day.

Enjoy.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish motives; be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.

What you spent years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.

(Written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta. I bet she never won a Caption Contest...)

I Need an Escape!

Did you ever just feel the need to get the hell away from the people you love? Yeah, I'm having a morning like that.

It started with Bobo being up half the night and Mr. Poops flipping out about it. And of course his non-existent self-esteem makes him refuse to just hand her to me, who is calm and peaceful, and insisting on taking care of her himself, even though the yelling and slamming doors and raging around the house like a wounded bear is making NOTHING better. Because to admit that he can't do anymore would be admitting he was a bad parent or something.

Whatever.

Naturally, due to lack of sleep, Bobo is cranky already. This is going to be a fun day.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Before my weekend ended on a low note, it started very promising. I got a sweater and hat done (or nearly so). Here it is. Here's the hat anyway. I liked the sweater so much, I whipped out a matching hat.
Here's the sweater, sans buttons. I picked some pretty basic pink ones. They'll go one one of these days. No rush, my cousin's not due until November some time.
Here's the set together. It's made from Tahki Willow in a variegated pink and white. The pattern is a simple raglan top down thingy and the lace pattern is "razor shell" from BW's First Treasury.
I made some yarn last week too. It's way prettier than this picture shows. And again, I wish you could reach out and feel it. This one is a merino/silk blend. Kind of tricky to spin, but the colors are so pretty. It's a lighter blue than in the pic, with lots of white and purple bits in it. And did I mention how soft it is?

Unfortunately, there are no good close ups today because the old camera which has the macros function for such details is not working properly, though I hope to have it working later. So I had to use the new camera with no macros, and it has a sucky flash and gets blurry if you get closer than 3 feet from your subject.

I really need a GOOD camera. One of these day, I guess.

So, my weekend.

Friday was lovely out and we had a cookout at my friend Steve's house. Lots of friends from HS there and our families and kids. (One of my buddies, Matthew, is expecting twins next month. Well, his wife Sarah's doing all the work, but you know what I mean. I'm making them sweaters and hats that look like pumpkins! Ordered the yarn last night...I sure hope it's as pumpkiny as it looked on the monitor.)

Saturday was a road trip to Patternworks! I only got a few single skeins to try out. I got some funky striped sock yarn to make some funky striped socks for the Bug, a random sale skein of baby Cashmerino to make baby hats for charity, and three new ones that I've yet to try. I got some Plymouth Boku, which looks and feels suspiciously like Noro Silk Garden. I picked up some Berocco Jasper, ultrafine merino and just lovely. If it wasn't so expensive, I'd buy this again. And a random ball of Karaoke because I love the striping and the finished look of it. It's really pretty and fun to play with.

Then I went to Joanns for buttons and some other stuff to top off my last SP package to get it in the mail. I got some more random clearance yarn there too. Kind of fun stuff, and nothing I'd pay full price for, but to crank out some more baby hats and just dick around with, interesting if nothing else.

On Sunday I did some more spinning. I'm working on some leftover white mill ends from Sheep Shed Studios. It's the first roving I bought to practice on, and this is leftover because it was a big, fat piece and a bunch of short pieces that at the time I was learning I didn't feel confident about joining seamlessly. I've no such problems now, and I'm trying to get it really thin so that I might dye it up and make some more funky socks for the Bug. (She got new Mary Janes for school and they scream for funky, handknit socks.)

And then I was all happy wrapped in my quilt playing with my new yarn and watching Ken Burns' The War on PBS when Mr. Poops storms downstairs with Screeching Bobo in tow and starts yelling at me how he'd been up three times with her and he's HAD IT! with her...I took her, hugged her and said "Go back to bed, I'll change her and bring her back up."

"NO! I'M FINE. I CAN DO IT."

"It's okay, really. You're tired. Just go back to bed, I'll take care of it."

"I CAN DO IT. JUST GIVE. HER. TO. ME."

"No. Go back to bed."

"OH, SO NOW YOU DON'T TRUST ME?! WHY IS IT YOU CAN GET MAD AT HER AND IT'S OKAY, BUT WHEN I DO IT, I'M A BAD PARENT? IT'S HYPOCRITICAL."

"When I've had enough, I tell you I've had enough, and I give her to you to deal with. You need to do that now. Go back to bed."

(Throws the clean diaper at me and misses by a mile. The man couldn't hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat.) "FINE. I DON'T SEE WHY IT'S OKAY FOR YOU TO GET MAD AND I CAN'T....." (This trails off upstairs, yelling and stamping the whole way, slams the bedroom door.)

I get Bo changed and she tells me she's cold, so she sits on my lap wrapped up and we watch The War together for a bit. She calms down and stops crying. I hear Himself trying to get the bedroom door open, which he's slammed shut and now can't get open because it sticks and I smirk to myself at his own stupidity, half hoping he'll be trapped in there until January when the doors stop swelling.

He comes down, apparently all calmed down now, and says very sweetly to Bobo, "Come on, I'll tuck you back in." I tell her 'no more fussing, go back to sleep,' and she goes back up. I did get up with her one more time, but she went right back to sleep.

He'd never hit the kids and he certainly wouldn't dare lift a finger against me (mostly because he knows I'd kill him and hide the body where no one would ever find it--I watch a lot of CSI...), but when he goes all middle-of-the-night ragey, I just can't stand him. And it's not that I don't start to lose my shit when I've been up with Bobo three times before 11 pm, but like I said, I have sense enough to know when I've had ENOUGH and I hand her off to the calmer parent.

He seems to see my offer to step in and take over as a criticism of his ability to parent instead of the tag-team effort that I meant it to be.

He hasn't called from work to apologize yet, so I half suspect that he hasn't realized that he was completely irrational last night and I'm going to have to point it out when he gets home. Which should go over like a fart in church. But he'll get it...eventually.

As I put the period on that last sentence, Sister calls to tell me she had a dream last night that I went on tour again, and she had to take me to the bus which apparently was leaving from somewhere in Massachusetts. She said she asked me in the dream if I was going to miss my kids, and I said I'd miss the idea of them, but not them exactly. Then she said she was going with me but there were no more open bunks left open and no room for her clothes so she had to go home. And she said she cried and cried that I was leaving her.

Hmmmm, random dream or premonition? I really could use a vacation from my life. Anyone with me on this?

I Booked Another Fair!

I'm doing another craft fair in Canterbury. This one is a holiday fair to benefit the Ladies Benevolent Society. Yay! I do love me a craft fair, and this one is close to home, cheap to get into, and considering how poorly things are selling on etsy, a welcome addition to my roster.

So I'm booked for October 10 and November 10 and that should be it for the year.

I did make a hundred bucks cantoring a funeral this morning. Every little bit helps. Too bad someone has to die for me to get paid though, huh?

I've not been knitting much. I don't really know what I've been doing, but not much in the way of knitting. I don't know why, either. The weather finally got cool again! Not much spinning either, but what the heck.

I did make two pair of Bob Cratchits. The first pair is out of yarn that my secret pal sent me in my last goody box. Knitpicks WOTA, and I really thought the colors looked great together when they were sitting side by each, but when I started the colorwork I realized that there wasn't as much contrast as I thought so the pattern doesn't really pop. No big deal. They're for me and I like them quite a lot.

I could have used them in church this morning. It was FREEZING in there.

The second pair has an interesting story with it. The yarn I used is actually one ply of a weirdly plyed yarn I got at NHSWF last year. It looked like pink Berroco Chinchilla that had been loosely plyed with a handdyed raw silk single. I really liked the silk part quite a lot, so I carefully un-plyed the yarn and knit these mitts. And I'm using the chinchilla to make baby hats.

It's all good.

Finally! Noro Bags In Da House!

I know, it's a weird and rare Saturday post. As Bezzie pointed out, a lack of Poops Posts can only mean blogstipation. Well, things must be better...is this blogarrhea? That's what you get from too much fiber, I suppose....

(Thank you, I'll be here all week. Be sure and tip your waiter...)

Speaking of FIBER, the long awaited Noro Bags are finally in the shop! Yay! I told you I'd make myself list them yesterday! (I also planned on listing three small sweaters, but the batteries in the camera went phhhhhhhtttt on me, so they'll wait until this afternoon. The sun will be out and I can go up to the barn and get my sweater stands to do it properly.)

Anyway, about those bags...here they are! I've been wanting to show them off properly for some time. I imagine y'all have been on the edge of your seats waiting to see them. Without further ado...

The first one I call "Twilight". It's got 11 inch handles so it can be worn as a shoulder bag if one wanted to, and it's lined with crushed velvet panne. My linings are usually very tailored, but I thought the velvet would look good shirred, so that's what I did. A bit more work, but the result is really neat. It looks like a teal velvet womb. (Now there's a selling point...)

The second one is called "Bambootiful". Get it? It's got bamboo handles. This one has a cotton lining that is more fitted, though I did make it a bit less tailored than some others. I haven't found so far that my uber-tailored linings were more prone to giving way at the seams, but I figured giving the lining a bit more "give" wouldn't be a bad thing.

Both of these bags are open topped. I have a couple more from my homespun that are closed at the top, but they still need some blocking and stuff. It's raining at the moment, but it's going to clear up later and be sunny and dry--perfect blocking weather! Maybe I'll be inspired to pick out linings and hardware later too! Wouldn't that be cool!

Finally, before I go on about my day, which in addition to blocking a couple of bags is going to involve fixing the toilet (whee!), I just wanted to say thanks for all your comments to yesterday's post. It helps me immensely to say this stuff "out loud", so thanks for listening. And elizabeth, you are so right about the rest of the steps. I've been feeling that it's time for me to move on to the 4th step and the personal inventory, but I feel I should have a sponsor before I get into it. But no one at my meeting is a sponsor and I haven't been to any other meetings yet. I prayed that when He feels it's time for me to have a sponsor that He'll put one in my way. I know I just have to keep seeking and listen carefully for His answers.

Patience, grasshopper.

Sorry 'Bout that Lapse, There

It was kind of a long time between Poops Posts, wasn't it? School is back in session and I'm down with a cold, as usual. Germy little buggers, those school kids. I swear an elementary school is nothing more than a big petri dish.


One thing I really have to get on, and by Jove I'm going to make myself do it today, is to take pictures of my Noro bags and get them in the etsy shop. I have had every intention of doing it earlier, but I waited for a sunny day to take them outside. Then it rained...something it hadn't done here in a month, so that put plans on hold. And then soon as the sun came out--WHAM! I get a cold.


I felt better yesterday morning, quite in the pink, really. I bustled about the house getting things picked up and doing laundry. I went great guns all morning, and then after lunch I started feeling tired. By three I wanted to die. I felt like a beach ball out of which someone had let all the air. I was in by jammies by suppertime and I passed out cold as soon as my head hit the pillow at 9. I guess I wasn't as "better" as I thought.


I had laryngitis too. I had choir practice on Monday when my cold was new, and a couple hours of singing made it sound kind of rough. Then on Tuesday I met up with a couple of friends from school in a bar. No booze, but I did have to raise my voice to be heard over the music and that did me in. Wednesday...no voice. I could barely talk.


It's back today, somewhat. I can sing, but it's not real pretty. I'm scheduled to cantor tomorrow night and I know I can switch if I need to, but I don't like to, and I think by tomorrow if I rest (voice and body) today and warm up properly before mass I'll be fine.


Cross your fingers.

And now, for True Confessions.


As some of you may (or may not) know, I've been going to Overeaters Anonymous. I haven't told a lot of people--I just told my mom a few days ago and I've been going since July. I am, at this point, cautiously optimistic that this might be the answer to my weight problems. And a host of other problems too.


Let me 'splain.


For the uninitiated, I'll preface by saying that OA works on the exact same principles as AA, and where AA uses a 12-step program to bring its members to sobriety and keep them there, OA uses the same steps to lead its members to freedom from compulsive overeating. I think there's a more concise way of describing it, but that's really the best I could come up with off the top of my head.


So I started going to meetings in July, and really I didn't know what to make of it. It all seemed too confusing to follow. I was advised to go to 6 meetings and listen, just to absorb and let the principles of the program sink in.


I went for two months without doing a lick of work. All I did was go and listen.


Then one day, I was hanging out at the Knittyboard (as I sometimes do) and someone started a thread titled "I'm Fat, and I Don't Know How Not to Be". She got some great advice, but I realized that no one had addressed the issue she raised about not being able to stick to any lifestyle changes. She'd do great for a week, and then binge and hide it from her family, then she'd just give up altogether. It sounded a lot like me.


So I posted this in reply:

"My name is Poops and I am a compulsive overeater.

"I don't lack willpower. I don't lack motivation. I'm not lazy. My relationship with food is exactly the same as an alcoholic with booze, a drug addict with drugs, or a gambler with gambling. I want to stop overeating, but I can't.

"Not without help.

"I just wanted to put it out there that sometimes one's relationship with food is more complicated than "Make some changes and stick with them." Yes, but unless you understand your relationship with food, the changes likely won't stick.

"For some of us, willpower alone isn't enough. For some of us, food is as
powerful, as seductive, and destructive as booze is to the alcoholic.

"It's why we can spend millions of dollars at Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig and lose hundreds of pounds (literally) and earn all their stickers and keychains and stuff and gain it all back. We buy every book by Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, and Dr. Oprah and lose hundreds of pounds, and gain it all back. We cut out carbs and sugar, or fat and transfats, or we eat vegetarian, or we eat raw foods, or we buy only from the health food store...and again, we hear the siren song of little chocolate donuts and we follow it right back to where we began. We gain it all back, and then some.

"You'd probably be surprised to hear that some of us with serious food addictions are some of the most successful "dieters" out there. I'm good at it. I could write my own book.

"It hurts us to hear things like "just do it", "you need to have some willpower", "all you have to do is make healthier eating choices and exercise more" because we've done all that, and yet the day invariably comes when the bad food is more appealing than the good, the willpower fades away, the gym membership lapses, and we're left wondering why.

"Why can't we just make changes that stick? Why do we have to wait until everyone is in bed and eat a whole bag of Oreos? Why do we eat when we're not hungry? Why do we turn to food when we've had a bad day? Or a good day? Why can't we stop with one piece of cake? Why must we have three?

"Finally, I know why. I know why I do all these things.

"I am powerless over food. My live has become unmanageable. I need help with my addiction because experience has shown me that I cannot overcome it alone. The first part of my recovery is admitting that, and it's harder than you'd ever believe.

"When you've always been Miss Independent, or like me--Large and In Charge--it's even more difficult to say "I need help. I can't do this. It's too much for me."

"If you don't have a food addiction, you probably can't understand this. I denied it for a long time. "I'm not addicted to food. How can you be addicted to food? You need it to live! I'm just lazy. I just need to use some willpower. I need to work harder, to try a different diet, to cut out this food or that food, to join a gym..."

"Not everyone who is fat is a compulsive overeater, in the same way that not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. But if you're out there reading this and anything I've said strikes a chord with you in some way, I just want you to know that you're not alone. And if you ever want to chat about it in depth, feel free to PM me. I want to help."

It was after I hit send that I realized that I had just worked Step One. Without even trying. "We admitted we were powerless over food--that our lives had become unmanageable."

Oh. My. God. That's so true. My life is unmanageable in so many ways! I can't keep a clean house. My marriage is on auto-pilot--only the pilot has kind of gone out under my burners (if you catch my drift, and I think you do). And I can't even bring myself to start a diet, much less stick to one for more than a few hours.

The day after I typed that, the day I admitted I have a problem, I went to Joanns, and while I was there I saw these cute little "silk" covered blank journals in the dollar bin. I decided that would be my food journal and I picked out a nice fuschia one. I decided that having worked Step One, it was time to tackle steps two and three, and that if I was going to get my eating under control that I needed a food plan.

Step Two and Three: "We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Well, of course I believe this. Don't I pray to God all the time? And as St. Augustine (I think it was Augustine, correct me if I'm wrong) said, "He who sings, prays twice." In which case, God must be darn sick of hearing my voice! Really, didn't I have Step Two covered all along? Three's a little trickier. "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

It's one thing to say I know God watches over me and takes care of me, and that he always gives me what I need. It's another thing entirely to make a decision and actively say "I turn my will and my life over to your care, God." I guess a better way to put it would be that it's easier to believe it than it is to do it. Especially for a control freak like me.

(I realize in retrospect that I already blogged some of this when I started my food plan, back on Day One. Now, ten days later, the same things I said then are even more true as the reality of things hits home...)

My food journal has become a place for me to write out my thoughts on food and life, and of course what I eat. I chose to follow Weight Watchers points plan again since I've always found it to be a good fit for me. I know if I follow the plan, I will lose weight. Except this time, at the beginning of every new day, I write the day and my points range, and then I write my daily prayer where I commit my plan to God and ask him to be with me as I make food choices through the day.

So far I can honestly say that I've been abstinent for 9 days. Today is the tenth day of my sobriety, ten days without eating compulsively. I have not starved. I have not found it hard to stick to my points range. I'm not surprised. But what I am surprised by is the other changes I wasn't counting on.

I've found that since I've turned my plan over to God, I haven't been tempted by sweets. I've chosen meals and snacks that are nutritionally sound as well as being points friendly. I don't think about food all day. I pick my breakfast, eat it, journal it, and really don't think about food again until my stomach growls and I wonder what time it is. Some days it's after one and I realize I haven't eaten in hours. So I pick a lunch, eat it, journal it, and don't give food another thought until dinner. I find that without between meal snacks, I'm left with a bunch of points at the end of the day which becomes a bedtime snack, but is really a fourth meal. (Perfect, because eating something before bed keeps me from waking up ready to eat the pillow.)

I feel like the only thing I've given up is an obsession with food. I've given up the guilt that comes with overeating and binging.

I gave up control and found myself unable to sit still. The first week of my food plan, I couldn't just sit here. I'd spin for awhile, then I'd get up and do the dishes. I'd knit, and then have to put it down and go clean a kitchen cupboard out. I'd surf for a bit, but then I'd get up and do a couple loads of laundry.

My house is far from spotless, but at this point the table is clear, the dishes are done, the laundry is still stacked everywhere, but it's clean, and the living room is....well, liveable.

I've always felt I've needed great self-control to be able to do what I want to do. How amazing that what I needed in reality was NO self-control. I needed to stop trying to master everything and let myself be guided. Who knew?

I don't know where this all will take me, but you can rest assured that I'm not throwing down a breadcrumb trail to get back....

I'm Flashing You Today!

Unfortunatement, some of the pics I took didn't come out, so you'll have to consider some of these a mere sneaky peek at what's to come.

First up, a couple of Noro bags for the shop. This is the first one. Alas, the only photo that came out is the one of the colors, and even that's not an accurate representation. I will have to take some better shots for etsy anyway, but at least you can see the colors. This one has bamboo handles and a green cotton lining with big, stylized polka dots in black, green, and pink. It's cute, trust me.
This next one is the second bag, and the only pic that came out is this one. The lining is actually teal, not as blue as it looks on my monitor. It's actually almost exactly the same color as the second stripe down on the bag, the turquoise one. Only that's less turquoise in real life. The lining is velvet panne and it's shirred at the top and bottom. The handles are twisted black satin cords.Next up is my latest yarn creation. I call it "Bermudaful". The roving is superwash and comes from Sheep Shed Studios. They call the color "Blue Lagoon", but the color reminded me more of the ocean off the coast of Bermuda and less of a topless Brooke Shields, so there you go.
It's worsted weight, and this skein is almost 240 yards. I have a pound of it, and if I don't get at least 1000 yards when I'm done, I'll eat my hat.

I made these Manly Fingerless Mittens for my cousin Cindy's boy Tyler. She liked a couple of pair I made for my booth, and her daughter Megan loves them and bought two pair, but the boy ones were too big for him, and the girl ones were too girly. So he got these as a custom order. It's Patons classic merino, I think. I got it at Joanns.
I'm still working on a baby sweater for another cousin, but I think I'll wait until it's blocked to photograph it. It's a cotton linen blend, and the lace work will look ever so much better blocked out. I also started another pair of fingerless mitts last night. They'll be for me, I think. And if the sun comes back out later, I'll try to get better photographs. The camera hasn't been cooperating lately, and I'm not sure what the problem is. I'll investigate and get back to you.

Other than that, I've been spinning some silk/merino that I think will be quite lovely at the end of the day. So lovely, in fact, that I'm already wishing I had more of it to spin. It's a very good thing.

I paid bills today, and for some reason that makes me feel light as a feather on the inside. I think because I didn't owe as much money as I thought I did.

Also a good thing!

Everything's In Progress Today

And I haven't taken a single picture. So there.

I made two Noro bags for my etsy shop that require lining still. So they're In Progress. I am working on a baby sweater for a cousin who is due in October (I think). I'm up to the sleeves and I just loathe knitting sleeves, so it's languishing at the moment, In Progress. I finished plying a skein of superwash wool last night and I set the twist, and now it's drying in the bathroom. And I started a bobbin of a silk/merino blend I got at NHSWF in May. Which, by the way, is going to be some GORGEOUS yarn, if I do say so myself. Provided I don't eff it up in some way. All In Progress.

So, lots of work, but not much to show for it at the mo.

The weekend was awesome and busy. Busy and awesome.

Okay, Saturday was just busy. I cleaned and cooked and then cleaned some more. I'm one of those all-or-nothing kind of housekeepers. My house maintains a moderate level of dirt and disarray until it goes past moderate into pigsty. Then, I bust my ass cleaning it. It's not a very good system, and now that it's clean I really do make an effort to pick up and wipe up and vacuum as I go along. For awhile. Then...back to my old tricks. It's a vicious cycle.

Like flossing. I always plan to floss religiously after my cleaning and admonishing from the hygenist, and I do great. For about a week. And then I stop. And six months later I get the speech about how I need to floss more. Yeah, I know.

And food. I start a diet and go great guns and lose lots and lots (we're talking hundreds of pounds here, people) of weight, and then...you guessed it, I go right back to old habits. And I gain it back and then some.

Turns out I'm a compulsive overeater. And I am getting help, finally. It's like I've always known what my problem was but I didn't know how to not have it anymore. Only the overeating wasn't my problem, so much as the overeating is only a symptom of a greater problem, and when I address that, my inability to control my food, or my flossing, or my housekeeping might just fall into place. I'm hoping so, anyway.

Yesterday was Day One of following a food plan. I chose Weight Watchers because I'm very comfortable with points, I've had great success with it in the past, and done correctly it is nutritionally sound while being very flexible. Someday I will likely have to change plans. I will continue to explore possible food addictions and drum out those foods that act as triggers for my overeating, if indeed food is a trigger.

I know boredom is a trigger. A big one, in fact.

Want to hear something weird? Part of my overeating recovery is keeping a journal, and because tracking points in a food journal is part of WW, away we go. I bought a book just for it and yesterday I started with a prayer. I committed my food plan to God. I told him that I would need help sticking to this, and I asked for his help when I needed it.

As an interesting aside, WW always encouraged you to write about your feelings or moods or whatever in your food journal, but I never did. I never noted any reflections. I just wrote out my food, tallied the points and moved on.

Yesterday, I had some reflections about food, and I wrote them down. Somehow, just seeing my concerns in print gave me hope. I wrote about my concerns at having to "give up" certain foods. I can't imagine my life without birthday cake. And I wondered if that's how an alcoholic feels when faced with the thought of life without so much as a champagne toast at a wedding. I imagine so.

But back to the weird thing. I told you that being bored is an eating trigger for me. I swear to you that if I wasn't crafty, I'd weigh 800 pounds and have my own show on the Discovery Channel. Being crafty keeps my hands busy, and busy hands are hands that can't eat.

Yesterday, I found myself unable to sit still. This is not a problem for me, usually. I am sedentary. My totem is the three-toed tree sloth. But I'd sit here at the computer for awhile and then I just had to get up. I did the dishes. I did some spinning. I cleaned up the living room, which was already clean. I sat down to knit, and didn't want to, so I got up and cleared the kitchen table, which was all but cleared to begin with. I even vacuumed. Holy Crap.

It was odd to not be able to sit still. Maybe God kept me busy so that I wouldn't have time to sit still and think about how much I wanted to eat something just to have something to do.

I decided yesterday was a good day to start, since the weekend was full of cookouts. Well, not Saturday, that was all about the cleaning. But Sunday afternoon I had a yard full of friends over for a Labor Day cookout. We had barbequed chicken and sweet Italian sausage with peppers and onions and a veritable bevy of salads to choose from. We ate and drank and listened to music out under the weeping willow while the kids played. We did have one major road rash injury, but not enough to ruin the party.

And as if partying until the sun went down on Sunday wasn't enough, Monday we had another impromptu cookout as well. My sister's best friend from college came up with her hubby and kids, and while he and Baboo golfed all day, the kids played and the rest of us visited. And then, more grilling and salads and chips. So it was a food-a-riffic weekend.

So Tuesday became Day One of Moderation for Poops. And it went just fine.

Today is Day Two, and so far, so good. One day at a time.