Ask Poops, Please

Putting my two cents in.

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Location: Belmont, New Hampshire, United States

Born and bred in a small New England town, I am convinced that I know something about everything, and that my opinion matters. If only to me. Well, you'll see what I mean. And I love to knit, so you'll see what kind of things I'm doing when I should be vacuuming the living room.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day 2009

Our Girl Scouts!

Brownie Bug marching in the parade.

In grateful remembrance of those soldiers who gave their lives in service to our country. May God bless their families and hold them in the palm of His hand.

Friday, May 22, 2009

It's Time for a Wardrobe Update

No, not me. I'm always the very embodiment of fashion-forwardness. *snort* I crack myself up.

Here's your quiz for the day. What is wrong with this picture? Other than Dave's hair sticking straight up like the Heat Miser's. It was about 90 degrees when I took this, so it's not far off. And it doesn't make his hairstyle wrong, just kind of funny, I think.

(Need a hint? The answer is NOT "They should be wearing [Insert Lesser Team of Your Choice Here] shirts. We're a Red Sox family. Get over it.)

Give up? Neither Nomar Garciaparra nor Manny Ramirez plays for the Boston Red Sox anymore.

Can a shirt be a collectible if it's been drooled on? I didn't think so. See, honey? I told you you should have worn a bib.
You too, Dave.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

How to Know When You Should Just Stay Home

When you see this in the sky, it's a good day to go back to bed. Things just aren't going to be going your way.

I should have seen this sign a couple days ago when I woke up with the kids' cold. I'm feeling rather poorly this past couple of days, and you would know it's one of the busiest weeks I've had.

Monday night was our last choir practice. We played "Choir Roulette". One person stuck a finger in the hymnal and we sang whatever song he picked at random. It turned out to be one we didn't know, so we all learned it on the spot. It was a nice song, and it was fun to do.

But choir is over for the year, at least the practices. And we have two new cantors on the schedule so I'm not heavily scheduled this year.

But then Tuesday night was Bug's chorus concert at school. I wish I could say how much I love watching kids perform and how wonderful it was, but it's like torture for me. I love to see my Buglette up there and her little buddies, but at the end of the day, I don't like child performers. I find the talented ones truly those little girls who sound like grownups, or the little boys that dance like Michael Jackson could before his nose fell off. And the untalented ones--well, I go between feeling bad for them and bad for myself.

And what's the deal with movement when kids sing? Why can't they just hold still and concentrate on the music instead of acting out the song? I know her music teacher/chorus director well and I may ask if I can find a way to do it tactfully. Even Bug says it's hard to do the movements because while you're trying to remember what movement to do next, you forget the words.

Then again, I think show choir is intrinsically evil.

So that was Tuesday. Last night was Confirmation for all the area churches over at Sacred Heart in Laconia. There were 70 kids being confirmed, and the place was packed. The music was everything that is wrong with church music, in my opinion. I like my church music to have some life. I like it to be joyful, especially on a joyful occasion. Sacre Coeur has a big ass pipe organ and every song sounded like it was being played on Valium. I felt like I was stoned. I wish I was stoned.

Dave decided he was hungry again last night, which means that he didn't get enough solid food yesterday evening, and even though DH got up with him since I felt like crap (and still do), I still had to listen to his big mouth while he settled himself back down for sleep.

So this morning I'm tired, and sick, and dragging ass.

Oh, and the TiVo shit the bed yesterday. I'm going to plug it in later and see if I can make it work, so let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we? Thank God all my season finales are over. Would have sucked to miss those!

And today is the Feast of the Ascension of the Lord, a holy day of obligation. I'm cantoring at Mass at 6, then we have our monthly Altar and Rosary meeting afterwards. It's going to be brief, I think. But I have to make something for a funeral tomorrow, probably cookies, 'cause I said I would.

And then tomorrow is probably going to be blessedly peaceful. DH has a half-day and if he's home in time I may go to a funeral, or not. I don't know. We'll play it by ear anyway.

That's my life in a nutshell. Busy, busy, busy. Sometimes you have to read the signs in the clouds.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Another Screw Loose

Actually, another screw is gone. You know the sliding shelf thing that holds they keyboard on a computer desk? Well, mine loses screws from time to time. At any given time I'm missing at least one. Which is not a problem. But when there's only two, then there's issues. And that's where I am this morning.

Someone was sitting here when that screw let go, but rather than find it on the floor and pick it up (and God forbid screw it back in), they just slid the keyboard back and walked away. And it wasn't me. It's never me, but guess who has to put the screws back? Yeah, you guessed it.

I am the only one who can fix anything in my house, and I'm kind of sick of it, to tell you the truth. Particularly when it seems like something is always broken.

At least the weekend was pretty cool.

The concert Friday night was excellent. The concerts are interesting in that the program has the refrains (and occasionally the whole song) in it, and we are encouraged to sing along. As the concert is held in a church and the music was written especially for liturgy, it stands to reason that the great unwashed masses should be able to sing along. And we did, with great gusto. The ride down and back was great fun in the big van, and it was good to see Lori again and meet David. I was able to put in my request for a few more verses of "I Know My Redeemer Lives". (We sing it a lot at the end of funerals--it's a popular choice--but there' s only two verses, so we wind up repeating them ad nauseum until everyone is out of the church.) I'm sure he'll get right on it.

Anyway, I got back really late Friday night and left at 7:30 the next morning for Webs. I got a nice bit of stash enhancement to play with. I don't think we'll do the tent sale again, though. To be honest, neither sister nor I ever need a whole bag of one yarn at a time. So we could go down at any time during the anniversary sale and just avoid the crush of people. Most everyone was really nice and patient, though. And it got really hot in there. A/C would have been nice.

So, what did I buy? Well, I got 5 skeins of the Valley Yarns Northampton, a nice basic wool, in navy heather, teal heather, chocolate brown, black, and cranberry.

I got 6 skeins of their closeout yarn called "Poems". It's a single-ply variegated yarn that looked interesting to me.

I got three skeins of Plymouth Yarns Baby Alpaca. God, this stuff is soft. Delicious.

And one random skein of Cascade Jewel in the purplest purple I've ever seen. I have no idea what to do with this, but I couldn't take my eyes off of it. It's just awesome. The picture doesn't do it justice. Pour yourself a glass of Welch's Concord Grape juice, and set it in a window so the sun shines through it. That's pretty close.

So, not a bad haul, particularly when you combine it with the Malabrigo from my secret pal qdgirl and the birthday gift certificate to Knitpicks from Sister. My stash is robust again! So much yarn, so little time!

Friday, May 15, 2009

I Can't Help It

This just makes me laugh.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Is This Your Fear Too?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I'm crawling, I'm crawling, I'm crawling....I can't seem to go forwards...what is this thing in my way....can't go some ....sort....of tired....must rest my head on this Barbie dress and....


(He's under the rocking chair. He can only crawl backwards and lacks a rearview mirror.)

Mom Toes

As I'm sure you're aware by now, my Mother's Day wasn't going to be anything to write home about. Mr. Poops was off to TX for the weekend to fulfill family obligations, so I was left at home to keep the fires burning, so to speak.

It went well, but it meant no Wool Festival for me this year. Disappointing to begin with.

Sunday was pretty ordinary. We picked Papa up at the airport with no muss, no fuss, and headed home. I got a gift card to the Olive Garden for my birthday so I figured we could stop there on the way home. Only there was a line out the door to get in. Nope. Not with three kids.

So we hit the road and I said, "Let's try Makris" which is a seafood/family restaurant kind of place. The parking lot wasn't even full so we went in and were told since we didn't have reservations there'd be a half hour wait. The redheaded hostess ignored us for a couple of minutes while we stood right in front of her, and when I told Larry I wouldn't wait that long, she rather snarkily told me that it was Mother's Day and we should have made reservations.

I walked out and said mostly to myself and anyone who could hear me that the restaurant should try to employ hostesses who aren't red-headed harpies.

Doubt she knew what a harpy was, but she knew I wasn't happy and it was aimed at her. Happy Mother's Day to you too, motherfucker.

Anyway, we went right home and DH went out and got me Chinese food from my favorite place, the kids went to bed happy about their little gifties Papa got them, and I got to go to bed early.

And I got my toenails painted by Buggy. Not normally a fan of the painted digits, but I have to say I'm feeling fresh and funky.

Please ignore how potato-esque my feet are. My favorite Chinese food is chock full of MSG goodness. I know I can order it without, but what would be the point? It's what makes it taste so yummy!

I can almost get my rings back on today, so it's all good. No harm done. And the toes are a lot less sausage-y too, thanks for asking.

To make up for my lack of a decent Mother's Day Fiberiffic Celebration, this Saturday my sister, mother and I are headed down to Webs for the annual tent sale. I'm am going to try not to go crazy, but I make no promises to you. Other than to show off what I get so you can live vicariously through me.

Oh, and Friday night I'm going to a concert down in Durham. David Haas and Lori True are going to be singing and stuff, and quite a few of us from the choir are going down in a van. (It's the nice thing about those big Catholic families--someone you know is bound to have a twelve-passenger van.)

Lori is a friend of our choir director. I've had the pleasure to bend an elbow with her and play some cards on one of her visits out, and if you flip through a Catholic hymnal you'll see David's name everywhere. He and Lori write music for liturgy specifically. Which is a challenging order. Lori has a truly beautiful voice, too. She did a cantor workshop for us on one of her visits out here and I learned so much in just a few hours about liturgical singing. She made me want to learn more, and I think that's the sign of a truly great teacher.

Some of my favorite church songs are by Lori and David. If you've got the iTunes, you can take a listen. Search for "Lori True" and hear the sample of "May the Road Rise to Meet You". Such a pretty song. And David's psalm "The Name of God" is my favorite one to sing. Look that one up too. It's worth a browse. Take a wisten.

And I leave you with one final thought, as I contemplate packing a hip flask for the ride to Durham (open container laws be damned--I'm not driving!):
Can I get an "amen"?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

The Stars at Night are Big and Bright

Mr. Poops is off to Texas. Or he will be tomorrow morning before the cock crows. He's spending the night at his sister's house and they're all going to Manchester together. He'll be back Sunday.

So that means I'm a single parent for the long weekend. And what a long weekend it will be.

I know what you're thinking. How could three angels like these cause you any trouble at all?

They went to bed with no problems tonight, and bedtime is where I've had a bit of anxiety.
Bedtime is Papa's gig most nights, and all things being equal, Dave really prefers to have Papa do it. But though he fussed for awhile, he's quiet now and I'm satisfied.

He's been waking me up every morning this week at around 5. Before the sun, and it's not right, I tell you.

And sadly, I won't be attending NH Sheep and Wool on Mother's Day, what with me stuck being a mother and all. It's both ironic and sad. But I do have most of the roving I bought last year still to spin, so I guess it's best that I work on that before buying new, I would think. And to make it up, next Saturday I'm going with Sister to the big WEBS tent sale. It's a giant cluster-fuck, it's hot and you can barely move, but if you go home empty-handed, there' s something seriously wrong with you.

I plan on not having to buy yarn for the rest of the year.

I know, I crack myself up sometimes too.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Mountains and Molehills

I'm writing this from my sealed, germ-free hazmat suit. It makes typing tricky, what with the big rubber gloves, but we must be vigilant! This is a deadly strain of a worldwide contagion!

I'm so sick of it I could puke. But then they'd probably just quarantine me.

Picture (Device Independent Bitmap)

They closed two schools yesterday because a kid tested positive for what I'm still calling the Swine Flu, even though the WHO (Horton hears 'em!) isn't calling it that. Fuck the WHO. They're pains in the ass, the lot of them. The CDC is bad enough on their own.

Why close a whole school? Doesn't it make more sense to keep the sick kid at home? For that matter, what happened last cold and flu season? You know, the HUMAN flu that's as contagious as this one with more severe symptoms--where were the school closings? Nope, just use precautions. No masks, even. What about this past winter when the Noro virus was running amok and we were, to quote Fr. Albert, all shitting our pants at Christmas time? Where were the school closings? Just wash your hands, you'll be fine.

But swine flu? OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!

Enough already. Rant over.

I made a sweater! Did I tell you I was working on one? I can't remember. I should take the time to re-read my latest posts before I post a new one so that I know what I already told you. I usually post the new one and then read the last one to find out that I already said this, that, or the other thing. I know. I don't get it either.

Oh, the sweater! Here 'tis.

The cream color is Ella Rae Classic wool (dirt cheap at Little Knits) and the green and yellow are Knitpicks WOTA. The turquoise color is my own homespun! Can't even tell, can you? I'm pretty pleased with myself, yessiree.

On the boy...

Close-up of the sleeve detail. One is solid off-white, the other has colored stripes and an embroidered felt patch. 'Cause symmetry is for squares, man.

I took some pictures of the kids too, all three together, but I'm going to use them as a distraction for when I don't have anything interesting to say.

In other news, I have two Confirmation classes left for the year. Tonight I'm going to answer some of the questions they've come up with as part of a year-long assignment. I told them at the first class that one of my favorite quotes is "Unthinking faith is a curious offering to the creator of the human mind." Question everything. Always want to know more. Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you. And they do, but it takes some time for them to understand that I mean it. I will answer any question you have to the best of my ability. I'll never tell you "I don't know" without a promise to find out the answer. So tonight I am fielding questions ranging from "Will you go to hell if you burn a bible?" to "Why are there sometimes 3 altar servers and sometimes 5 or more?"

Then, after the Q&A session, I'm going to teach them about the 7 deadly sins. The History Channel did a 7-part series on them that was fascinating, and I'm going to do a lesson that ties fairy tales like Snow White in with them. I'll tell you the story, you pinpoint the sin. Snow White? Envy, and you could make a case for Anger and Pride as well. I should be working on some visuals right now. So I may have to cut this short.

Finally, I had Fr. bless some St. Joseph medals. He's our patron saint and the patron saint of families, and I give it to them to remind them that wherever they go, they will always have a home in our parish. They are part of our family. And I wrote them each an individual note as well.

Choir practices are almost done as well. Only a few more there. I'm going back to work part-time, but I don't have much to report as yet. More on that when I have details ironed out.

Okay, whilst the boy grabs a nap, I shall prepare my second to last lesson. Whee.

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